Pray It Won't Fade Away (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 21 The beginning of forever

A/N OK SO I INCLUDED THE VIDEO OF SCOTT AND SEGUN. I THINK I PUT IT IN MY LAST BOOK TOO BUT TRUST ME ITS WORTH THE REPEAT. HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CHAPTER JUST BEAUTIFUL TO WITNESS.

Chapter 21

            Scott walked around the blocks more times than he could count. By the time his legs finally were ready to give out he could tell you exactly how many cracks were in each set of sidewalk that surrounded their apartment. He sat the bottom steps of their apartment and didn’t feel any better than he did when he started. He didn’t realized what he had said and done had affected Mitch as hard as it did. He didn’t see it as abuse because he thought Mitch knew he didn’t mean to say it and he thought he knew he didn’t mean any of it. As he went back in his head and thought of everything he had said he realized that it was totally justifiable for him to feel the way he did. He had been extremely cruel to Mitch and said things that he knew would be triggers for him. It really was abusive what he had done but it was so far from intentional. He would never hurt him on purpose that boy held every piece of his heart. His world ended and began with Mitch. That man in there was his starts and his moon.

            As Scott went over the last years they had spent together Mitch walked down the stairs and spotted him. He felt a sigh of relief because he was honestly concerned that what he said scared him off and he would never come back. He expected a call from Connie saying Scott decided to go back to L.A. and try to work things out with Alex. He couldn’t blame him. He had basically called Scott an abuser and he wasn’t. Yeah he said some hurtful things but he would never actually hurt Mitch not in the way Travis or Phil had. They could work this out but Mitch had to choose his words wisely. Scott was more fragile than he wanted to admit.

            Mitch sat down next to Scott slightly startling him until he realized it was his heart that came to rescue him. He looked over carefully scared that like a timid bunny, Mitch would run away and never return. Mitch felt the careful way Scott was looking at him and he couldn’t stand to see him so hurt and confused. He leaned over and rested his head on his shoulder. “Scottie I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just got really passionate about our conversation and I think I just needed to say it so I didn’t have it in the back of my mind anymore.” Scott felt a tear run down his cheek. “I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose. You are my everything. I swear I don’t remember what life was like without you in it and I don’t want to. I know I have done so much wrong and I’ve hurt you more than anyone deserves to be hurt but please let me make this right. Whatever I have to do I will. I just need you more than anything. I can’t live without you Mitch not again.”

            Mitch felt every muscle in his body ache to hold Scott. He stood up bringing Scott with him and led him up to their apartment. He took him over to the couch and sat them down. Once they were in their space and in privacy he took in all of Scott’s beautiful features. He looked into the great lakes that were his eyes, the alabaster color of his clear and smooth skin, the slight laugh lines that sat in the corners of his mouth, and his brownish/blonde hair that was slowly turning darker as the last dye job he had done was fading out. This man was so perfectly flawed and he knew he was his one and only. Mitch got down on one knee and took Scott’s hand in his.

            Scott sucked in breath not sure what to think. He wasn’t sure what Mitch was doing but he knew it had to be major for such a gesture. He felt his palms start to sweat and his face heat up. “Mitchie what are you doing?” Mitch smiled up at him and began to talk. “Scott since the day I laid eyes on you I knew you were my one and only. We have been through more than anyone should ever have to endure and we have made it through together. We have faced trials and tribulation but we have also shared so many good times. You were my first everything and no one can ever take that place. You are the air that I breathe and when I close my eyes at night your face is everything I see. When I wake up you are my first thought. We have so much wrong with us it isn’t even funny but if we can both commit right now that we want this and we will fight for it, I think we can make this work. I’m not proposing that would be stupid considering our situation but I am giving you a proposition. Commit to being to with me and only me. Let’s commit to working on our relationship day by day and working on ourselves. I want you to make me a promise that when you get mad, you will talk to me and not yell. Don’t say mean things just talk to me. If you need to calm down say so and I’ll give you the space you need. Let’s be each other’s crutch like we were supposed to be from the beginning. Let me be the man you need and you be mine.”

            Scott let out the breath he was holding relived that Mitch wasn’t proposing marriage. He knew that day would come in their future but now was definitely not the time. “I wholeheartedly agree Mitch. We have messed up a lot. Me far more than you. If you will give me the chance to fix this I will agree to anything that I need to.” Mitch frowned slightly and dropped Scott’s hand to stand. “I don’t want you to just agree for my sake, I want you to want to get better. I want you to want to be with me and want to be happy with me. Let’s take some time to think about what’s best for both of us. I’m gonna go get Kirstie up to speed on what’s going on and you take some time to think about what you want for sure. Make sure me and this relationship are what you truly want in your future because I’m all in.” Mitch kissed Scott’s cheek and walked to his car to visit with Kirstie and Jeremy. He just needed some different voices and opinions because he was still so confused and he had to figure out what to do for himself.

            As Mitch walked out, Scott sat back into the couch and let out a loud sigh. What are we going to do with ourselves he thought. He began to drift back to old memories of them. He imagined the first time they were intimate after their moms had left to go party. He shivered remembering how he learned everything about Mitch’s body. He especially went over the fun they had in the shower after that first time. (see the smut book for some showery goodness just for you dani) He remembered everything about that day and he was smiling going back on the memories but he also remembered the bad that followed so soon after. It seems like every time they try to get things right something stands in their way.

            Scott knew this was going to be a long battle for them but it was worth it. Mitch was worth it and more. He tried to rack his brain and figure out why he had the reactions that he did. He knew deep down why he acted the way he did when was mad but could he really tell anyone about that. Literally no one knew about it. He had never told another soul not even his mom. Maybe that had something to do with his anger because he was holding such a dark secret and he had never let it out. It was so far in his past he thought he could outrun it and he thought he beat back the bad memories but obviously not. The anger was coming back 10-fold but it was going against Mitch and it wasn’t his fault. Scott knew what he had to do he just had to get the strength to do it.

            Mitch walked into Kirsties without knocking like he always did. He didn’t see Kirst or Jeremy anywhere but he heard some commotion in the bedroom. Olaf walked over and nudged his hand wanting a good head pat. Mitch rubbed his head and asked him, “Where are your mommy and daddy?” He heard what sounded like a muffled groan from the bedroom and made his way over pressing his ear to the door. He finally figured out what was going on and turned bright red realizing this was one time he probably should have called ahead of time to let them know he was coming. He grinned to himself glad to hear at least someone was getting it right around here. He decided to get Kirstie back for walking in on him and Scott so many times so he slowly creeped the door open and witnessed a jumble of arms and legs. He snuck behind Jeremy and slapped him on the butt. “Get it girl.” He giggled as Jeremy and Kristie screamed out as loud as they could. He ran out of the room and sat on the couch waiting for them to finish and come out to yell at him. They would be so mad but it was worth it. He heard them talking quietly and suddenly Kristie screamed out really loud. “Wow no wonder she’s pregnant.” Mitch muttered under his breath.

            “Mitch get in here quick right now.” He was shocked but figured they were messing with him. “it’s ok guys I think I witnessed enough of the Jerstie show. I’ll just wait out here until you are done or I can head home and you can call me when you get this over with.” He joked back. “NO seriously get in here and help me. Kirstie’s water just broke.”