Pray It Won't Fade Away (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 24 The Secret

A/N WARNING THERE ARE SENSITIVE SUBJECTS IN THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DONT THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT PLEASE DON'T READ IT.

Chapter 24

            Mitch was confused. “Um Scott what do you mean you’re free. I know your dad wasn’t the best and didn’t fully agree with your sexuality but I didn’t think you had that bad of a relationship.” Scott sighed. “There are some things I haven’t told anyone not even my mom. I need to get this out and now that he’s gone I feel like I can. Let’s go get some coffee and we can talk. Just promise you won’t leave or judge me until I get my whole story out ok.” Mitch nodded and began to get dressed. They walked down to Starbucks for their favorite drinks in silence. Mitch took Scott’s hand and ran his thumb across his knuckles as they walked.

            The boys grabbed their coffees to go and headed back to their shared apartment. As they settled in Mitch could tell Scott was nervous for the conversation they were about to share. He kept running his hands through is hair and pacing the room. “Scott whatever it is you know I won’t judge you. You have been there for the worst parts of my life. Just sit down relax and talk to me sweetie. I’m here just tell me what I can do to help you love.” Scott looked to Mitch and saw nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. He didn’t know why he thought this would be hard. This was Mitch.

            Scott walked over and sat down next to the love of his life and pulled his legs under his body to be a compact as a tall man could be. Mitch scooted closer to him and put his hand comfortingly on his knee. “It’s just you and me baby. Talk to me hunny tell me.” Scott took a deep breath and prepared himself to tell Mitch his deepest and darkest secret.

“When my mom got pregnant with me my dad was ecstatic. He told my mom he had always wanted a child and he was even more excited when he found out I was a boy. He was by mom’s side throughout the whole pregnancy and bought her and I as much as he could. When my mom went into labor my dad was by her side holding her hand and supporting her throughout the whole process. She had a really hard time having me and they had to use forceps to deliver me. The doctor missed the correct place on my face and managed to get it over my eye. When I was finally born my eye was swollen as if someone had punched me in it. My dad for some reason couldn’t look past that and told my mom I was tainted from the beginning. My eye healed and I only have a small scar from it that you probably haven’t ever noticed but from that day my dad got worse and worse. He began to drink and never wanted anything to do with me. He said I wasn’t the son he had always wanted and he wished I was never born. When my mom got pregnant again he hoped that he had another chance at the son he had hoped for. I was 4 when mom got pregnant with my sister. When my dad found out it was a girl he checked out and told mom to have an abortion or give her away. My mom refused and she made my dad leave. He got his own place and I had to go visit him on the weekend because of the custody agreement. It was ok at first he just ignored me when I was there so I just stayed in my room. After a while he started to slowly pay attention to me. He would pretend like he cared and I would spend a lot of time with him. He and my mom started talking again and even thought about getting back together. When my mom delivered my sister stillborn it was like a switch flipped. Even though he didn’t want her, to see his child dead like that seemed to be the trigger he needed. That weekend when I went to visit him it was different. He was standoffish towards me. I retreated back to my room like I always did. That night when I was asleep he came in and climbed into bed with me. I didn’t think much of it until I realized he wasn’t wearing any clothes. He started touching me in ways a dad shouldn’t touch his son. He said he wanted to be close to me because I was all he had. He raped me that night. The next day he told me how sorry he was and swore it would never happen again and begged me not to tell anyone especially my mom. I kept it to myself because I knew how much my mom was hurting over losing my sister. After that every weekend he got worse and worse. He stopped saying he was sorry and just did it anytime he felt like it. Eventually they got back together and I hoped with him moving back into my mom’s house it would stop. I never told anyone because he told me they wouldn’t believe me and they would blame me for being such a screw up. It didn’t stop until I finally decided. I fought back and told him I would tell my mom and the world on him. He stopped after that but he would never stop hating me or telling me how much of a mistake I was. My mom never knew how bad it was so when he left I was happy for once but was always scared he would come back. When I met you and saw what Phil was doing to you, it just triggered my memories. That’s why I was so protective and hated him so much. It was bad enough to see myself get hurt but to see someone as beautiful as you get hurt I couldn’t handle it. I have never told anyone but you that this happened. I have lived in fear since I was a child. Now he’s gone and he can never hurt me or anyone else again.”

            Mitch was stunned. He couldn’t believe something this had happened to Scott and he never knew. When they met he knew their family was on the odd side but he never knew this was going on. Scott always seemed not to care for his dad but he didn’t seem scared. Scott was so strong. Mitch pulled him into his arms and held him close feeling his tears soak his shirt as he his shoulders were racked with sobs. Scott sobbed and screamed for the loss of the family he had wished he could have and for the pain that was officially over. Scott held onto Mitch like he was his life-force. He felt such a relief knowing that his secret was finally out.

            “I’m so proud of you honey. You faced so much in your life and you have always been there for me. This really explains a lot. Thank you for trusting me and I will help you through this and through anything.” Scott smiled and held Mitch close again. “Thank you for saving Mitchie. It was the day I met you that made me finally fight back. You gave me a reason to want to be better. You saved me without even knowing it. I love you so very much.” Mitch ran his fingertips on Scott’s cheek. “You save me love and you still do.”

            Scott and Mitch spent most of the day cuddling and holding each other. They tried to heal the old wounds that were left behind by the horrible father figures they grew up with. It was crazy to them that they had so much in common and didn’t know it after all these years. They talked about their plans for the future and what they would do to get past all of this. “I really think we both need counseling love. Let’s both go and get ourselves better. I think the reason you are so rough with our words is because of holding this in so long. I’m here for you of course but it could help to talk with someone who is a professional and will know how to teach you the right way of dealing with all of this.” Scott knew Mitch was right but he was scared to tell someone else about it. “What if they blame me? What if they are disgusted by me keeping it a secret so long and think that I wanted it?” Mitch felt sadness overwhelm him, “Oh honey no one will think that. We all know that you never wanted that. Your dad was a sick man and now he can’t hurt you anymore. How about this, let’s get through this funeral for your mom. Then we will deal with all of this together.” Scott kissed Mitch gently on the lips, “Thank you sweetie let’s get this funeral stuff over with so we can live our lives together always.”