꧁𝙵𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝙱𝚊𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚗꧂ A Tommyinnit One-shots book

Incorrect quotes 🦕

TW: swearing, mentions of scars and past self harm in the last one :)

I think you get the just of it, I have no idea how many people will be in this, since I will be adding to it every now and then when I don't feel like writing a full on story :)

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Will and Techno: *arguing*
Will: AT LEAST I'M NOT AS BAD AS TOMMY
Tommy from the next room:YOU'RE THE CUMSHOT MUM SHOULD'VE HAVE SWALLOWED!
Everyone:what the fuck-

*The squad is over at Tommy's house*
Phil: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Tommy: ... N-No...
Tommy, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Phil, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Tubbo: I see a-
Tommy, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Phil: Oh, well I-
Tommy: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Tommy, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Wilbur: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Techno: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Tommy: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Tommy: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Tommy, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Tommy: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Ranboo, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Phil: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Tommy, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Tommy: Rules are made to be broken.
Phil: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Tubbo: Uh, piñatas.
Wilbur: Glow sticks.
Techno: Karate boards.
Eret: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Tommy: Rules.
Phil:

'Can I copy the homework?'
Tubbo: I can help you with it!
Phil: Yeah, sure.
Tommy: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Wilbur: lol nope.
Dream: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Techno: *Read 5:55pm*

Tommy: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Sapnap: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Tommy: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING GEORGE WITH ME
Dream, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

Tommy: *Gently taps table*
Sapnap: *Taps back*
George: What are they doing?
Dream: Morse code.
Tommy: *Aggressively taps table*
Sapnap: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Bad: Hey guys! What do you want for breakfast?
Skeppy:ah yeah, I'll have the coco-pops bitch
Bad: *yells at Skeppy*
Bad: and you?
Sapnap: not fucking coco-pops

Eret, wearing the strawberry dress: If you can't beat them, dress better than them

Sapnap: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Phil: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Tubbo: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Wilbur: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Techno: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Tommy:
Tommy: I have emotional scars.