Ice and Snow, Mind and Heart

Chapter 38: Yearning

"He chose death, and he went down with his castle."

Sara closed her eyes before looking back at Sesshomaru with her loving gaze as she murmured: "I harbour no ill will towards you for what happened. My deranged father was to blame. After his death, I entered a nunnery to pray for the repose of my father and his vassals."

Her voice became bitter as she went on: "But call it punishment or cruel fate, I became gravely ill with a wasting sickness. It quickly took hold of my body, and I learned that I had only a very few days left to live."

Her eyes lowered as she admitted quietly: "I would have ended my life without ever having revealed my feelings for you. But then, Inuyasha appeared."

Her tone darkened as she continued: "When I saw Inuyasha, I had second thoughts about my resolve. If I could just live a little longer, I could somehow attack him! Even if it meant dying in the process, I would steal the Tetsusaiga away from him."

Sesshomaru kept his eyes on the tree as he almost absently noted to himself how different that resolve was with the other woman he now knew to be 'in love' with him.

She would defy him to protect Inuyasha, something that would normally make him despise her more – and yet, Sesshomaru found himself in the peculiar position of spurning the woman who wanted to kill Inuyasha more than the woman who would die to protect the half-demon.

"I felt it was the least I could do, to atone for what my father had done." Sara finished, unaware of the thoughts going through Sesshomaru's mind.

She paused, before she revealed: "That's when something strange happened."

Her voice turned thoughtful as she explained: "I was suddenly surrounded by apparitions, that no-one else seemed able to see."

'Demons.' Sesshomaru thought to himself, while Sara continued: "And then it spoke to me – it offered to make my wish come true, if I gave up my spiritual powers and body, they would help me kill Inuyasha and take the Tetsusaiga. And give me the chance to tell you how I felt."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed just slightly, but Sara didn't notice the subtle change as she went on firmly: "I had no doubts about accepting their proposal. Without reservation – rather happily, in fact – I gave up my body and soul to those demons."

She fell silent for a moment, before adding: "Such enormous spiritual energy; my soul and body had been released. I was reborn."

Sara tucked her flute back into her clothes, near her breast, as she smiled contently, her eyes flashing red once more.

She held out the Tetsusaiga in offering yet again as she beseeched: "Lord Sesshomaru, please at least acknowledge all that I have done for you until this day."

The woman began to step up to Sesshomaru, and the dog demon finally shifted just his eyes over to look at her.

But it was only to scoff as he asked flatly: "Huh. So that is your true form, is it?"

Sara paused, her smile dropping as confusion covered her face once more.

"Huh? True form?" She questioned, sounding genuinely puzzled. "What can you possibly mean by that, Lord Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru just stared back at her coldly, when they were suddenly interrupted.

"There you are, you wench!"

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced back at his brother's voice, just as Inuyasha and Yuki – her hair pure white - came leaping out towards them, having finally caught up to Sara's smell.