Ice and Snow, Mind and Heart

Chapter 80: To the End

As Sesshomaru sped them toward where he could scent Naraku, Yuki shifted slightly in his embrace. Positioning herself so she could look up at his face properly, Yuki spoke.

"I am sorry, you know."

"Hmph." Sesshomaru scoffed.

Yuki's eyes narrowed defensively.

"Really." She stressed the word and Sesshomaru finally glanced down to meet her gaze once more. "I'm sorry you were worried."

"You should not have gone after the boy tonight, not in your condition." Sesshomaru responded severely, clearly unwilling to forgive her quite yet. "It is not just about the danger you placed yourself in. You realize what you did, do you not?"

"I know."

Yuki's tone was grim as she answered.

"My weakness has been exposed. But," her gaze turned serious, "I couldn't risk something happening to Kohaku because of something like that. And I can't help..."

Yuki paused briefly, hesitating just slightly as she tried to put her feelings into words.

"I can't help but feel... that this is it. This battle we're heading into... I can't help but feel that tonight, either we will finally kill Naraku or we won't make it back at all. Either way, his knowing my secret won't make any difference."

Sesshomaru's jaw tightened and he didn't respond as he turned to face the front once more. Yuki knew it was because he agreed with her and that it made him uneasy; after all, she felt the same way.

The idea that this could really be their final stand brought a surge of determination through her but at the same time she couldn't help but wonder as to their fate. She had no doubt Sesshomaru would be able to survive, especially with Bakusaiga and Tenseiga at his side. But what about Inuyasha? Or Kagome and the others? What if they didn't get to Naraku in time and Miroku met a most gruesome fate? What would Sango do if that happened, and how would Kohaku react at his sister's grief? What if something happened to Rin?

And what if something happened to her?

Yuki had no illusions as to the extent of her strength. She never had. She knew very well that if it came down to it, she could never outfight Naraku. Outrun him, yes, but she could never win against him physically. Yet this war that the demon was brewing was a battle she could not avoid. There were very few people in the world whom Yuki would die for. As much as she liked Kagome or Miroku or even Kohaku, Yuki knew that if she had to choose between them and her own life then she would choose herself. To lose Sesshomaru, which would be the outcome of her death, was too painful and she was not that noble.

But for Rin and Inuyasha? For the girl who had become like her sister or even a daughter, and for her sworn brother? If it were a choice between saving them or saving herself? Yuki had no doubts on which option she would choose.

"Stop that at once."

Yuki glanced at up Sesshomaru, broken from her thoughts at his sharp reprimand.

"What?" Yuki asked and Sesshomaru glanced at her once again, his gold eyes troubled despite his stern tone.

"Don't contemplate your own sacrifice. If you make a foolish decision tonight, I will enter the depths of Hell once more to search for you. And I will kill you myself."

Yuki's lips twitched up at Sesshomaru's threat and despite herself she laughed.

"You know that would be impossible." Yuki pointed out when she finally managed to get her amusement down to occasional chuckles. Sesshomaru glanced at her again.