Until US

Chapter 22

The sun was shining through the curtains of Win's room in New York. The blonde was laying in his bed with his face buried in his pillow. His eyes were puffy and red because he cried the whole night. It's been a week since he had arrived in New York. The city and the new country were still alien to him, but Samiya and Wan tried to cheer him up, as well as possible. His roommate James was also a very nice guy, even though he did not talk much, but Win didn't feel like talking anyway. Win was glad he and James had separate rooms, but he was pretty sure his roommate heard him crying anyway. He was thankful that James hasn't addressed him about it yet. Win's days were full of things he had to do. The college he attended gave him lots of papers to work on. That was a good thing because it helped him not to think about a certain person, but as soon as he was laying in his bed and closed his eyes, Team's face appears before him, and everything was back..the feelings, the heartache, the pain he felt in his chest.

"Winnie?! Are you ok?", Win heard Samiya's voice from outside. He tried to get up from his bed and went to the door to open it. "Samiya? What are you doing here?", Win asked. Samiya was looking at her brother-in-law worried. "How are you feeling today?", she asked softly. "I am ok. Just a little headache", Win answered. He really did not want to talk about it and hoped lying to her would make her stop asking. "Won't you come and eat with me? It's already time for breakfast", Samiya suggested. "I am not hungry", Win replied. Samiya could see on his face, that he was feeling awful. His usual tied-up hair was a mess, his eyes did not sparkle like they usually do, and the smile he gave her was a polite smile rather than an honest smile. "You can't stay in your bed the whole day. You need to get up, take a shower, eat something..what about we go for a walk together? Wan has already gone to work, so it's just the two of us. We are in New York. Just sitting in your room would be a waste of time", Samiya said and softy stroke Win's arm up and down. "I am really not in the mood to.." "Please, do it for me. I am so lonely all the time and we haven't seen each other for so long. Let me spend some time with my favorite brother-in-law." Win smiled. "Don't let View hear that." Samiya smiled and whispered something into Win's ear. "Please, don't tell him. Promise?" Win has never been able to refuse Samiya a wish. What she wants, she gets. There was no point in arguing. No wonder Wan became the man he is now. Win has always wondered how Wan became so mature since he's met Samiya. Now, he knew. Samiya was the kind of person, who brings out the best in others. Before Wan met her, he was a playboy. Mostly like Win..until he met Team. ...And again...he thought about him.

A/N:

I know, the last chapter ended with Team opening the letter, but we go a little bit back now. So Team is sitting on his bed and opening the letter NOW.

Team was sitting on his bed, still the letter in his hands. "To Team" How many times has he read the words so far? He could not bring himself to open the letter. What has Win written? Does he want to know, what he had written? Would it be better to destroy the letter without reading it? Wouldn't read this letter make things worse? He did not want to read that Win does not love him. He did not want to read, that he has a girlfriend. He did not want to feel more heartbroken than he already does. Team did not know how long he only starred at the letter in his hands. Not able to open it. He was too afraid. Too afraid of what Win couldn't tell him in person. But on the other hand, he needed to know what Win wanted to tell him. He needed to know Win's "last words" to him. But what kept Win from telling him face to face? What was so terrible that Win was too afraid to tell him? Did Win think, Team would hate him? Could Win do anything which makes Team hate him? He did not think so. Nothing Win could do would make Team hate him. Even if he wanted to, Team would never be able to hate Win. He could break his heart, he could reject him, he could leave him..but he could never do anything to make Team hate him. In fact, how could anyone hate Hia Win? He was the nicest, most caring person Team has ever met. Maybe Pharm comes close, but the feelings Team has for Pharm are much different than his feelings for Win. Team took a deep breath and decided to read the letter. He needed to know, what Win wanted to tell him.

Team recognized the traces of dried tears on the letter. The paper was not smooth but as if it was wet and dried. He also recognized the handwriting as Hia Win's. Even the paper smelled like him. It smelled like his aftershave and a bit of chlorine. All this distracted Team so much, that he almost forgot to read the letter. It took a few more minutes until he was finally able to read the letter.

"Dear Team..I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me. I did not know what else to do. I know you think I am always fooling around and I am not serious about anything but swimming and school. But this time I am being serious. I have never felt like this before in my life. In the beginning, I was confused, because I did not know what that feeling means. But now I know. And I know, that staying would hurt even more. I can't do this anymore. I really had to go. I hope you'll understand someday. Please, don't hate me. I wouldn't be able to live with the thought of you hating me. I wish you all the best. I wish you to be happy and loved. You deserve someone who loves you. Don't look after me. I already told Dean I did not want to be found. Please, promise me, that you start eating healthier. You want to become an athlete, so you need to start eating healthy. Team, you are the best swimmer I have ever seen. Better than Dean, better than me. You will become an amazing athlete. I wish I could witness it myself, but I believe in you. And I want you to achieve all your goals. I want you to be the best swimmer this faculty has ever seen. If anyone can do that, it's you. I have always believed in you, Team. I hope that someday you will be able to stop hating me.

Hia Win

Team let the letter fall onto the floor and himself back into the pillow of his bed. He couldn't see clearly because of all the tears. Team wanted to scream. It hurt so much. "Why did he leave me?! Why couldn't he tell me face to face that he loves someone else?! It must be like that. That must be the reason he left without telling me. He has someone else. Someone better than me. I should have known, that I will get my heart broken by him." Team could not stop crying. His heart hurt so much. Knowing that Win loved someone else hurt so much. He could not handle it anymore. Why does having these feelings hurt so much? Why did he have to fall in love with him out of all people? And why..why did he leave him?

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I did not feel very well the last few days. I am still sick, to be honest, but I do my best to continue writing and get the chapters done. I hope you understand. Thank you for your patience.

Care