Until US

Chapter 1

The sun was shining. It was a beautiful summer day in June. The school was almost over and the class was about to go on a trip to celebrate the end of the final tests. Everybody was excited about the trip. In the last few weeks, Pharm has spoken every day about the trip. He was happy that he could spend some time with Dean. Since the two were together, they never had really much time because of school.

Team was not really happy about the trip. He would have preferred staying at home or in school. Since he was a child, staying somewhere else at night is hard for him. But he does not want anyone to worry, especially not Pharm. He was often worried about things. Team does not want to be one of these things he would be worried about, so he smiled and answered, that he is excited too when Pharm asked him how he was feeling, even though he could not wait to get back home. Back to his room, his bed, where he felt..not safe, but safer than anywhere else.

Team knew it would be hard, to go on this class trip. He knew that it would not be easy to sleep in a hostel. The nightmares he has, have been torturing him since he was a little kid. One night, when he was 5 years old the boyfriend of his mother came into his room and began stroking him softly. It was a weird feeling and Team just wanted it to end. But he did not tell anyone. He remained quiet and tried to forget it. The nights after he could not sleep. The fear of this happening again was too big. It did happen again. Some weeks after, when Team thought, he must have dreamed that night, his mother's boyfriend came into his room again and started to stroke him, as he did before. It did not feel good, it did not feel right, but Team was too afraid and too confused to say or do anything against it. He let it happen, hoping that it will end soon.

Ten years later, Team has still nightmares. He dreams of this man, coming into his room and stroking his body the way he did when he was a little kid. No one knew about that. He was too embarrassed to tell anyone. To this day, he still has nightmares about it. He did not want anyone to know, especially not his friends. He knew Pharm would be too concerned about him. He does not want his friend to feel that way about him.

"Are you ready for the trip?", Pharm was asking Team, who was sitting on the bus and looking out of the window. "What did you say?", Team responded. "I was asking you if you are ready for the trip. Is everything ok? You seem concerned." Team swallowed the saliva in his mouth and shook his head. "No, everything is ok. I was just thinking." "About what?", Pharm asked. Team was shaking his head. "Nothing important. Are you excited about the trip?", he heard a voice behind him. Team turned around and spot Win and Dean who were sitting behind them. "What are you guys doing here?", he asked annoyed. Win smiled. "What? Are you not happy to see me?", he asked with a mischievous grin. "Why should I? You just want to laugh about me, as always", Team replied. "I would never do such a thing", Win tried to defend himself. "You don't?", Dean asked. "No, I don't."

After an hour's trip, the class finally arrived at the hostel. "Dean and I share a cabin, do we?", Win asked. "Sure", Dean replied. "I guess we share a cabin, too?", Pharm asked, looking at Team. Team nodded. The day was long and it was almost eleven when Dean and Pharm made their way back to the hostel. Win knew, that Pharm would be sleeping in his room this night, so he could not sleep there. "Team?" "Yes", the black-haired male asked. "I don't think I can sleep in my room tonight." "Why not?", Team was wondering. Win smiled. He loved that innocent tone in his voice. "Don't you get it? I think Pharm and Dean want to spend the night together..alone", he said. It took Team a few seconds till he understood what that means. "Ahhh. So you think, we should leave them alone?", Team asked. Another grin built on Win's face. "You are really too cute", he said while he was stroking Team's hair. "So, can I sleep in your room tonight?"

Team swallowed. "S..Sure. I mean, yes. Of course." Win smiled again, even bigger. "Great", he whispered. "See you tonight", he said and gave Team a patted his shoulder while he was going by.

A few hours later Team was sitting at the bar, holding a drink in his hands. It was not his first drink, he had a lot in the last few hours. And he felt it. It was almost one o'clock. The other boys left an hour ago. But Team could not sleep. So many thoughts were running through his head and he needed the alcohol to cope with them, at least for a while. He was concerned about Pharm. He seemed so sad in the last few weeks, but he does not talk to him. But that was not the only thing, that bothered him. There was something else. "What should I do?", he was asking himself. Normally Team was not the kind of person, who gets drunk. In fact, he was good at getting others drunk, but this time it was him, who got a little bit tipsy. At this point, he just wanted to forget. He wanted to forget the thoughts in his mind. The concerns about his friend, about the swim team, his personal feelings.. everything that bothers him at the moment.

Team took the last sip of his drink and asked the bartender to give him some more, as he was hearing someone's voice behind him. "I think you had enough. Don't you think? You really should go home." Team turned around and saw Win standing behind him. "Win...What..are you doing here?", Team asked. Win was rolling his eyes. "I was looking for you, everywhere. What are you doing here?", he asked annoyed. "I..I was drinking", Team replied. "I see. You are drunk, aren't you?", Win asked. He could hear the disappointment in his voice. "I am not", Team replied. "Then get up", the blond commanded. "If you are not drunk, you should be able to get up." Team wanted to show him, that he was 100 % sober, but when he tried to get up from his seat, he stumbled and fell into Win's arms. "See, you are drunk. Pretty drunk", Win said, while trying to hold the dark-haired guy in his arms. Team smiled. That kind of smile, which makes Win's heart skip a beat. "I am sorry. I am an idiot", Team said. "Tell me something new", Win replied. "I carry you home", he said, with a concerned tone in his voice.