Until US

Chapter 39

"What?" Team asked Win annoyed when he caught the senior looking at him. "Nothing. I was just wondering if you are planning to eat all of them" Win said, pointing at the pack of chips in Team's hands. "What IF?" the boy asked. "You are an athlete. But you only eat unhealthy food." Team rolled his eyes. "Why is it your problem?" "I just want you to eat healthier," Win said before he put a finger on the corner of Team's mouth to wipe away the crumbs of chips. The younger could feel his cheeks getting hot, because of Win's touch, but tried to conceal it as good as he could. "Stop teasing me" he said with a pout, which made Win smile even more. "Cute" he whispered, but Tea didn't hear him. "Can I have some chips too, at least?!" Win called after him, but Team ignored him.

It was just a dream, Team thought when he woke up. If he knew..if he knew about his feelings for Win back then..he would..all the teasing, all the cuddling, sleeping together in the same bed, sharing body warmth. All those were the things Team missed the most right now. Now he regretted that he has never told Win about his feelings. Even if Win does not return them, he would had felt better, if he had told him. But now..Team does not know if he will ever be able to tell him how he feels. Win might die, without knowing how much he meant to Team. Without knowing, that he was the only person in his entire life, who made his heart beat faster. It doesn't matter anymore if Win returns his feelings. He only wanted him to know. He needed him to know. But, like so many things in life, Team realized it too late.

Araya was sleeping next to him. Team was looking at her. "I hope I will be able to love you someday. You deserve to be loved, Araya" he whispered. "Hia would want me to be happy. I will try to be happy..for him. I will try to make things work between us. I promise you, I will be the best husband a woman like you could have. For Hia" Team whispered while looking at the sleeping Araya.

Samiya was watching Wan, who was currently talking with one of Win's doctors on the phone. "I see. So, nothing changed? His condition is still the same?" he asked. "Unfortunately yes" the doctor said. "I see. What..what about his brain? Does it have any serious damage?" Wan asked worriedly. "We can't tell yet. Not as long as your brother is still in the coma" the doctor explained. "But..the fact that his condition is still the same does also mean that it hasn't got worse. That is a good sign." Wan knew that the doctor wanted to calm him down, but there was still a possibility that Win could die. "We do our best to help your brother, but..if he does not wake up..we can only wait until he wakes up" the doctor explained. "Just know that his condition is stable at the moment." Wan thanked the doctor and ended the call. "What did he say?" Samiya asked worriedly. Wan ran his hand through his face and took a deep breath. "Win's is stable at the moment." "That's good, isn't it?" Samiya asked while rubbing Wan's shoulder. "It only means, nothing has changed. Everything is still the same." Samiya was startled when she heard Wan's voice trembling. "He could die, Samiya. My little brother could die..and there is nothing I could do about it. All I can do is wait..! This is killing me! I am his big brother. I should protect him..but..!" "It was not your fault, Wan. Neither was it View's or anybody else's." "I know we already had this conversation, but..I can't stop feeling guilty about what happened. If I had known..if I had known that he..that he felt heartbroken..I would..Why didn't I realize?! I should have realized that Win was not ok. I should have.." "There was nothing you could have done. It was Win's decision. Even though he is your younger brother and you feel responsible for him..Win is an adult and he is able to make his own decisions. And blaming yourself does not help him in this situation. All we can do right now is waiting and hoping, that he will wake up soon." Wan was kissing Samiya's knuckles. "I don't know what I would do without you" he said while tears were running down his cheeks. "I will always be by your side. That's what we promised each other back then. We are family. You, me, Wan, Win..and our child. I thought about..what if we choose Win as the child's godfather?" Samiya suggested. Wan smiled. "I think..he would absolutely go crazy about it" he said. "I bet he would even suggest naming the baby Win if it's a boy" Samiya laughed. "And Winnie if it's a girl. Yes, that really sounds like my little brat of a brother." "Actually, I think that wouldn't be that bad of an idea, would it?"

Team knew that Win would want him to move forward. He would want him to be the best version of himself he could be. Team hated the thought that Win could be worried about him. He has never wanted anyone to worry about him, especially not Win. All Team wanted was to make Win proud. Win..the person he loved the most in the world. Team couldnt believe that he didn't realize it before. That he didn't realize that he loved Win. All the times his heart started beating faster when he was with him. This feeling he had in his stomach when Win was touching him when he was whispering into his ear..Back then Team did not realize what it meant. Back then he did not realize, that he was slowly falling in love with the senior. How couldn't he realize? But..know he does. He loves Win. He was in love with him. How could he be so blind? But..what about Araya? Could he really marry her..if his heart belongs to Win? At this moment, Team realized, that he would NEVER be able to love her. Not in the way she deserves. Araya truly loves him. But he doesn't return these feelings. By staying with her..by marrying her..he would only hurt her more.

Team was sitting on the bed, deep in his thoughts, when he felt two arms around him. "How are you feeling?" Araya asked. "I..I don't know" Team answered. He really didn't know. His heart felt heavy like a rock in his chest. His head hurt from all the crying. He had cried so much that there weren't any tears left.

"Team..you know..I have been in love with you since we've been children. The moment I first saw you..I wanted to be near you. You were such a funny child. You made me laugh..even though you were pretty shy in the beginning. But..I immediately knew that I like you..very much. I have had a crush on you..right from the start. All this years..I had been waiting for you. I have never had a boyfriend, because..I have never wanted anybody else but you.." Team felt guilty hearing her words. He knew that Araya truly loved him, but hearing that she never felt anything like that for anybody else..that she has always been waiting for him..made him realize what he was doing. "Araya..I.."

"Is it..is it Win?" Araya asked. Team shrugged when Araya said his name. "What?" he asked startled. "The person you love? It's Win, isn't it?" Team couldnt believe it. Did Araya know? But.."How..how did you know?" he asked, not able to look at her. "I know you, Team. When I first met him..I could see..the way he was looking at you..the way he was looking at me, when he heard..Back then I thought I was misreading something..but..when Manaow and Pharm told me..that Win was moving to New York..I was sure he wanted to..he couldn't bear seeing you..I am so sorry, Team. I should have told you..but..I thought..I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to..I really do love you..since we were children. I think..I wasn't ready to let go of that dream..I am so sorry. I feel like such a bad person..because.." Araya started crying, when she suddenly felt two strong arms around her, hugging her tight. "I am so sorry, Araya. I am so sorry for hurting you. I am so sorry for everything I did. All the times I wasn't honest with you. I am sorry for not being able to give you what you need, what you deserve..I am sorry for.." "Don't apologize for loving him. Team..loving someone is..it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I know it. because..loving you..it is..Thank you..thank you for letting me love you" Araya said, while she buried her crying face into Team's shoulders. Both were holding each other and crying. "Please..promise me something" Araya suddenly said. "What is it?" Team asked. "Promise me..that you will confess to him. Promise me..that you will do everything to make your dream come true. Please..promise me that you will fight..for what you really want. Please.."