Until US

Chapter 48

View ran up to his brother and hugged him tightly. "View! Your brother just came from the hospital. Don't be so rough on him" his mother scolded, but Win only smiled softly. "It's ok, mom. I am happy to be home again. I missed you, brat" he said while stroking View's hair. "How are you feeling, Hia?" View worriedly asked. "I am really tired, mom. Are you mad if I go to take some rest now?" "No, of course not. I have already prepared your old room" his mother said with a soft smile. "Thanks, mom" Win politely replied. "Are you hungry? I could cook you something if you want." Win shook his head. "No, thank you. I am just exhausted" he said with a big yawn, rubbed his eyes, and went upstairs to his room. His mother and View were looking at each other, worryingly. "What is it, mom?" View asked. "I am still worried about Win. He has forgotten the last 2 years" she said. "Are you worried he has to repeat the school year?" View asked. "No, Win has always been one of the best in school. I really don't think that is going to be a problem. His school called and they said they would understand. So he doesn't have to worry about that." "But..what..?" "I am worried about Win's person". "Win's person?" View asked. "Yes. The person he likes the most" she almost whispered. "The person he likes most? You mean the person who is responsible for all that" View angrily said. "What are you talking about? Team wasn't even near him. It was not his fault that Win.." "Of course, it was his fault! He hurt Hia so much that he got drunk that night! He was the one who broke his heart! He was the one who almost killed him! Team almost killed my brother!" "What did you say?" View suddenly heard Win's voice behind him. "Hia..I.." View stuttered when he saw his brother standing behind him. "What do you mean Team almost killed me? Why was the accident his fault? What did he do? What did he do to me?!" Win asked desperately. His mother tried to calm him down, but Win wanted to know the truth. "I..I thought Team and I were friends" Win asked. "You were" his mother answered. "But.." "But what?! Mom, please tell me the truth! If Team was responsible for the accident..I need to.." "It is not what you think" his mother exclaimed. "Then what is it?! I can't even remember him. You said we were friends. But..Why do I feel like we were something different than friends? And why does View think he is responsible for the accident?!" suddenly Win started hyperventilating. "Win! Honey!" his mother immediately ran to him, before he broke down in her arms. "Hia!" View screamed in shock. "Call the ambulance!"

Soon after Win was lying in a hospital, connected to an ECG to measure his cardiac function. "Win, you had a panic attack. That is not unusual after what happened to you. You should try to prevent stress from now on. Do you know what caused the panic attack?" the doctor asked. "No, I have no idea" Win lied. "I see. We will hospitalize you for a few days to make sure that won't happen again. If there is anything you need, just let me know. I will look after you in a few hours." "Do I really have to stay? I have been in the hospital for so long." "It's for the better. At least until tomorrow morning" the doctor said. The doctor left and Win, View and his mother were alone in his room. "Honey, I am so sorry. That was all our fault. We shouldn't.." his mom was trying to apologize. "Mom, please..tell me the truth. I know that View only wanted to protect me, but I have to know the truth. Who is Team to me? What happened between us? Please..tell me." And so his mother told him everything she knew.

"Team and you met when he joined the swim team. It was in your 3rd and his 1st year. The two of you immediately got close. Really close. And..you started to..you started to fall for him. I knew it, because..once you brought him home and..you were laying in your bed together. Team was sleeping, but you weren't. You were looking at him, smiling, with so much love in your eyes. And you were stroking his hair, while he was sleeping in your arms. That's when I knew, that this boy was something special to you. I don't think he knew. You never told me, but..I knew. I know you and I could see it in the way you looked at him. You love him, Win. But.." Suddenly his mother stopped. "What? What is it?" Win asked shocked. "One day, you found out that Team has a girlfriend and that they were engaged." "Engaged ?" Suddenly Win thought to remember something. "I remember the feeling. The pain. I felt..like someone was stabbing my heart with a knife." "When you asked me to finish school in New York, I was wondering, but..then I understood. You wanted.." "..to get away from him" Win finished her sentence. His mother nodded. "Seeing Team with his girlfriend was too painful for you. You couldn't take it any longer, so you decided to leave. And then the accident happened." "I wish I could remember him. I wish I could understand why I have all those feelings. The moment I first saw him, I knew that he was someone special to me, but..the truth is..I don't know him. I don't know anything about him. I don't know why...why I fell for him. I don't know what kind of person he is. And..you said he has a girlfriend, so..that means..he doesn't.." "No!" his mother suddenly exclaimed. "Dean told me everything. You left because you thought Team has a girlfriend, but..it was an arranged marriage. Team never loved that girl. He has always..well. I think I am not the person who should tell you all that." "He..he has no girlfriend?" Win couldn't believe it. "No, honey. He doesn't. Not anymore at least. Team and her broke up, because.." "Because?" Win hopefully asked. Win's mother laid her hand on his cheek and stroked it softly. "You need to find out yourself. But.. I can clearly tell that he was worried about you. Whatever it is between the two of you, you need to find out if your feelings are mutual."

"What?! Hia is in a hospital again!" Team was shocked when Dean told him. "Yes. It seems like he had a panic attack." "How is he?!" the boy almost screamed at Dean. "Team! Stopp yelling at Dean. It is not his fault" Pharm tried to calm his best friend down, but Team couldn't stay calm anymore. "Don't touch me! How is Hia?!" he asked again. "He is getting better now. His mother said it was a panic attack. The doctors wanted to keep him overnight, so they could watch him, but it seems he is getting better" Dean explained. "Do they know why he got those problems?" Pharm asked his boyfriend. Dean was looking at Team with pity in his eyes. "They think it is because of stress. Win must have been under a lot of stress lately." Dean was watching Team when he said that and Team knew that he was the cause of his stress. "It is my fault" he suddenly said. "Team..?" "Don't you get it?! I am the reason Hia is under so much stress right now. He tries to remember things he doesn't and that causes stress. If it wasn't for me..he would not have had the accident. He wouldn't have lost his memories and he wouldn't get stressed by trying to remember!" Team couldn't hold back his tears anymore. "Team. This is not your fault. I thought you already know now that you were not responsible for P'Win's accident" Pharm tried to talk to his best friend. "But I was the reason he left in the first place. I should have been honest with Hia. I should have told him how I feel, right from the start. If I wasn't such a coward. If I wasn't too afraid to get rejected by him..If I had known that he.." "I thought we were already past that!!" Dean suddenly shouted. "Both of you made mistakes. Win also should have been honest to you. He should have told you how he felt. But, he was too scared to get his heart broken by the only person he ever had feelings for, that he kept hiding his love and decided to accept your friendship instead. Even though it was slowly killing him. Having feelings for a person, but not being able to confess to them is one of the worst feelings a human heart can feel. You were not the only person who made mistakes, Win did too. And it doesn't help anyone if you take all the blame yourself. Win needs to know what it really was between the two of you" Dean said. "But..he doesn't remember me." "I am sure his heart does. But you won't help him remember you if you keep hiding from him."