Until US

Chapter 42

"Team? Do you really think this is a good idea?" Pharm worriedly asked. "I do. I need to see Hia. I need to see him..before.." Team started crying again. Pharm and Manaow immediately ran to him and hugged him. "I am sorry for crying so much" the boy said, while he kept crying on their shoulders. Pharm was stroking his back. "It is ok Team. If something like that would have happened to Dean..I would..We understand" Pharm softly said. "Is there anything we could do to help you?" Manaow asked. Team shook his head. "I know you just want to help me, but..I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone..and even though I know I am not alone..without HIM..I..I need Hia. What if he never wakes up? What if..I have already lost him forever? How should I.." "Don't think like that, Team. There is still a possibility that P'Win will wake up again" Manaow tried to encourage him, even though she knew that there was also a possibility that he won't wake up ever again.

"What about your mother?" Pharm softly asked, almost whispering. "She..she told me to stay. I shouldn't leave everything behind..for a friend. She doesn't know that..she doesn't know why Araya ended the engagement" Team said guiltily. "Araya didn't tell her?" Manaow asked surprised. "No. She said it was her decision to end the engagement, because..she realized that her feelings for me were not strong enough end we were too young to get married." Pharm took a deep breath. "She is really a nice girl." "Yes, she is. And she did not deserve..what I did to her.." "Stopp blaming yourself. It was not your fault. It's not your fault that you.." Manaow did not finish the sentence, because she knew what hearing those words would do to Team. "How is she?" Pharm asked. "I think..she feels awful. Being in love with a person..who doesn't return those feelings..is the worst feeling in the world. I think nobody can relate better to her than I do. Whenever I think about Win..my heart starts beating faster in my chest. It feels like I can't breathe anymore. Like I was..underwater. Drowning." Team couldn't hold back his tears anymore. "Sometimes..sometimes I wish I had never fallen in love with him, because..everything was so much easier when we were nothing but a junior and his senior. Before I started feeling strange near him" he said while still crying. "Why did I have to fall in love with him out of all people?! Why couldn't I fall in love with a cute girl like Araya!" "We can't decide who we fall in love with, Team. When I realized that I was in love with Dean..I was confused because I have never felt like this for anyone before. But when I met him I knew..that he was the one. My heart immediately recognized him..and..I bet it is the same with you and P'Win. How did you feel when you were with him?" Pharm softly asked his best friend. "I..I feel..I feel this tingling sensation inside. I feel warm and fuzzy. My heart is beating so much faster than normal..and I am afraid of saying anything stupid. The parts of my body he touches feel hot like I was burning..and..when he looks at me I feel..I feel hot and.." "And did you ever feel anything like that for Araya? Did you ever feel hot looking at her or did you feel this tingling sensation when she was looking at you or touching you?" Pharm asked. "No, not even once" Team answered. "That is your answer. Because..your heart has never wanted anyone else but Win." Team broke down on his knees and started crying again. His heart hurt because the love of his life was fighting for his life. He could die and if he would..he would die believing that Team was in love with Araya. That he was married to her..and that he never felt anything else but friendship for him. "You are right, Team. Go. Go to New York. Go to Win and tell him..tell him how you really feel. He needs to know. He needs to know that you love him, too" Pharm encouragingly said.

View was sitting in the hospital's waiting room, sleeping, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "View. View, wake up" he heard his brother's voice. View slowly opened his eyes. "Hia..Hia Win?" he asked with a sleepy voice. "No, it's me. Wan" Wan said. "Why don't you go home? You cant sleep on a chair. Go home and take some sleep. I will stay here" he suggested. "No! I won't leave Hia! What if something happens while I am..? What if..?" Wan was looking at his brother worryingly. "View, go home. I will stay here and if anything happens I will call you" Wan tried to convince him. "NO! I won't leave Hia Win!" View angrily said. "View, it doesn't help Win if you.." "I won't leave him. What if..what if something happens to him while I am gone?! I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happens to him while I am sitting at home!" Wan was worried about his little brothers. One of them was in a coma, fighting for his life, and the other one was nothing any more but a shell of the person he used to be. "Do you really think Win would want you to.." "Stopp telling me what Win would want me to do! Don't you think I know that?! Don't you think I know that Win would tell me to go home, study, meet friends, live my life..! But how am I supposed to do that, when my brother..when he.. I need my Hia! I need BOTH OF MY HIAS!" Wan was hugging his brother and stroking his back in an attempt to soothe him. "I know, View. I know. I miss him, too. I am afraid, too. But..I will always be there for you. We will go through this together, and..Win will wake up. He needs to wake up again" Wan softly said. "Do..do you really believe that?" View asked, still crying against his brother's shoulder. "I have to, otherwise I would go insane" Wan answered, while a few tears were running down his cheeks. This was the first time View has seen his brother crying. He didn't like it. And he didn't want to see it again, ever.

Team was sitting on his bed. His suitcase was already packed. He took a deep breath before he opened the drawer of his bedside table to get his charger he stored there. When he opened the drawer, he saw a letter. It was the letter Dean gave him when Win went to New York. Back then, when he thought Win was only playing with him. Back then, when Win thought Team was in love with Araya..If he had known about his feelings back then..if he had arrived at the right airport at the right time, he had prevented Win from flying. He had told him everything he feels in his heart. Every single feeling. What would have happened, IF he had arrived at the right airport? Maybe Win would have stayed. Maybe he had kissed him and told him that he feels the same and how stupid he was for believing that Team loves Araya. Maybe..he would still be with him. Maybe Team would still be able to lie in his arms, while Win is stroking his hair and is whispering sweet nothings into his ear until he finally falls asleep. But thinking about the "What if" doesn't help anyone, especially not Win, Team thought.

"Are you ready?" Pharm asked when they arrived at the airport. "I am" Team assured him, while he was holding Win's letter in his hands like it was his most precious belonging. "We have to go. We have a 20 hours flight ahead of us. Team. Our flight goes in 45 minutes" Dean carefully said. Pharm and Manaow hugged their friend one last time. "Everything will be alright" Pharm whispered into Team's ear while he was hugging his best friend goodbye. Team nodded, trying not to cry. Dean hugged Pharm one last time. "Take care of him" Pharm whispered into his boyfriend's ear. "I will. Especially because Win would never forgive me if anything happens to his Team."

Soon after Team and Dean were sitting on the plane, on their way to New York. Team was looking out of the window, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath. "Hia. Please, wait a little longer. I am coming. Please. Wait for me" he whispered.

Team is on his way to Win. But what happens if he is there? Will Win wake up? Maybe you will find out in the next one. See you there. Thank you so much for all the votes and comments.

See you on chapter 43!