Chapter 4

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The first thing I remember water being forced from my lungs. Then, the cold swimming pool tile.

"What the hell is this?" Banner asks as he digs into my pockets, pulling out the rocks "What the hell, Loki?"

I rest my head on the tile and clutch my chest "What did you do?" I speak, disappointedly "What did you do?"

"Safed your life." Banner growls, before pulling out his mobile. He holds it to his cheek and speaks, tiredly "I just found someone in the pool with rocks in their pockets."

I clutch my chest as pain seeps through my chest "Thirty more seconds."

"Thirty more seconds and you'd be dead!" He hisses, before answering "I preformed CPR. He's responsive."

They continue to talk as I clutch onto the ledge of the pool. Every part of me screams to run.

As I start to stand, Banner grabs my shoulder and orders "Stay down." I roll onto my back and shake my head.

When he hangs up, he asks "Why'd you do it?"

I set my jaw, before asking "How'd you know I was here?"

"I saw you stuffing your pockets from my dorm room." He states, before repeating "Why did you do it?"

I cover my face, as sobs rack through my body and I cry out "It's just so hard! Being here!"

He grabs my arms and holds them to my stomach "Being where?" He speaks, softly. Too softly.

I look him in the eyes and state "Being alive." He sits there for a moment, before taking my wrist and pulling up my sleeve.

He points to my forearm and asks "What's that from?" I know what he's talking about, immediately.

I sit up and look down at the scar. After a long moment, I tell him "It's from a cheese grater."

He cocks an eyebrow to me "Did you do it to yourself?" I shake my head and he asks "Who did?"

I pull my arm away and curl into the fetal position "My old foster parents."

He takes a long moment, before asking "What else did they do to you?"

I set my jaw and declare "I don't want to talk about it."

He takes a moment, before picking up his phone. He takes a moment, before I hear him ask "Nat, do you have Thor's phone number?... Yeah, Thor Odinson... Tell him to get down to the infirmary... Well, our dear Loki just tried to take a swim with rocks in his pockets... yeah... okay...bye..."

We sit in silence as the minutes tick by. Natasha comes running through, only to stop when she sees me.

She comes and sits next to me. When she does, she pulls me towards her and just holds me.

She rubs my arm, softly as she tells me "I was originally from Russia. Trained to kill, by the time I was eight. It took me a month in an institution for them to adjust my meds enough to where I could sleep at night. To this day, I wake up in cold sweats."

I take in a deep breath, before sobbing out "My father abandoned me at a fire station. I was in an abusive household for ten years."

She sighs, before declaring "That can't be all of it, Loki."

As I whine, I cry out "They raped me!" She holds my head and I sob out "I was a party favor for all of their friends! And the only clothes I ever owned were school uniforms! The social worker never came back!"

I cover my face and cry out "I can't do it anymore!"

~

When I get to the infirmary, they gave me a medical gown and nonskid socks. As they hand me a glass of activated charcoal, Thor throws the privacy curtain back and asks "What the hell happened?"

Banner looks to Natasha and asks "You didn't tell him?"

Natasha looks to me and I look to Thor.

I look down at the activated charcoal, before declaring "I went for a swim... fully dressed..." he gives a confused look and I state "After I put about ten kilograms of rocks in my pockets."

His eyes go wide and he sits on the edge of the bed, next to me. He's silent for a long moment, before the nurse orders "Drink up."

As I down the charcoal, I gag. When I get it down, she orders "Open." I open my mouth to expose my empty mouth, before she states "The psychiatric facility will be in to get you in a few minutes."

After she walks out, Thor asks "What was that?"

"They don't pump stomachs, anymore. They didn't want to run the risk of chlorine poisoning." Banner states, downcastly.

Thor covers his mouth and I sit there for a moment, before taking in a deep breath "I was four, when it started."

He looks my way and I can't take my eyes off the ground as I tremble "My foster father came into my room at night. It started out as misplaced grooming."

He sighs and I let out a nervous chuckle "He started bringing coconut oil in, along with this wooden spoon..."

My mouth is so dry, I can't even speak normally "He'd pin me down... and he would just... play with me... with the end of the spoon..."

"It took a month for him t-" I lead off as a sob racks through my body. I wipe my eyes and rephrase "One night, he started in with the spoon, and he just... decided to..."

I wipe my face again and state "He raped me, that night."

Thor reaches out for my hand and I continue "When I told his wife, she started physically abusing me. Called me a knobjockey as she would slap me with a ruler. Then she would cut me with a cheese grater... all the while, he was still doing it."

I bite my lip and state "They started bringing friends over, and made me walk around naked... feed me dog food... made me wear a shock collar... if I cried, I'd get shocked."

"They liked to play pocker." I state. When he squeezes my hand, I continue "They would feel me up while playing... the winner had their way with me."

I take in a deep breath, before speaking, softly "One night, they all came over... I thought it was to play poker, but they had other plans."

"They pinned me down." I state, before declaring "Paid twenty bucks a pop to take turns with me."

I take in a deep breath "She carved the word 'whore' into my stomach, after they were done."

I take in a deep breath, before declaring "They started charging strange men four hundred bucks an hour to come over when I was eight. One guy brought toys. Was there all night. Fisted me for hours."

I take in a deep breath, before declaring "I was bleeding for a month, because they just kept coming."

"When I was nine, one guy stuffed drugged me. I woke up with him inside of me... he punched me to knock me out again."

"When I was ten, this one guy, he made me lay in a tube of ice water for thirty minutes, before drugging me. He spent the night, doing who knows what... I couldn't walk for a week."

I take a minute, before declaring "This continued until I was fourteen. I was too old for the pedophiles."

"The kicked me out, and I bounced around from foster home to foster home, leaving as soon as I wet the bed, or woke the owners up, screaming."

"A year ago, today, I was discharged from the foster system." I concluded "And I never told anyone until today."

Thor speaks softly "What happened a year ago, today?"

I give a weak smile "I turned eighteen."

He's silent for a long moment, before remarking "Happy birthday."

I pull my hand from his and exclaim "I just get so angry, and I have no idea why! It's as if some part of me is screaming for revenge!"

"Have you tried boxing?" Natasha asks. I shake my head and she places her hand on my shoulder "Steve will get you into it."

Thor takes my hand and places it on his stubble "I'll be here for you when you get out."

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