You promised

chapter 12

After tears, convincing my older brother, oh yeah Gatsha now took the role of being an older brother to me while am the oldest actually not even older brother but my father, i had to convince him that this is something i have to do now for them to let me come back to Johannesburg, the boys gang up on me most of the time and tell me how i must respect them since they boys, as sexist as that is they meant it the good way. Shaka wanted me closer to him so when i came to Johannesburg  and he said he didn't want me living in that 'dump'  yes he said my previous home is a dump ,that i didn't pay much attention to him anyway and decided i wouldn't pay attention to his comments, after the rest i needed i had to go first to Noni ,i missed my best friend and i hated when we faught.

"Can i come in" i asked softly standing on the door as Noni opens her door for me she rolls her eyes at me before opening her door wider for me to enter, the are tissues all over the house and she looks horrible like she has been crying. "Whats wrong" i asks concerned she has ice cream on her lap.

"What do you want Miss goody too shoes" she asks throwing herself on the couch folding her arms across her chest i sigh loudly settling next to her, in a spot where i used to sleep on.

"Look Noni i was wrong about what i had said, am sorry for saying that i was just angry not after what you said you weren't fair either but i know it came from a good place" i say she sighs dropping her shoulders too.

"I know i was wrong too Liyana ,through the years i knew you i didn't want you turning like me that's why i said those stuff" she says "for that can you forgive me too" she said i smiled opening my arms for her we hugged.

"I know what am doing but am desperate Noni, this is the opportunity i need to take both of us out of this situation i promise I'll be okay ,he seems kind you know" i say pulling away.

"Don't tell me you falling in love" she opens her eyes wide dramatically i push her away from my arms.

"What no, no ,never i just don't hate him like i did when we first met, love eww" i say answering as honest as i can love ,i don't ever imagine myself loving him. "Besides I've known him for what 2 minutes"

"I was joking" she says "am giving you my blessings but he still need to earn my trust" she adds as i stand up grabbing second spoon ,we both eat silently the icecream staring at the show playing on tv, i know the is something wrong but i know i wouldn't push her into telling me until she is ready, she put her head onto my shoulders  before i heard her sniffing silently, Noni was the most strong women i know, a women who has been through so much yet never gave up on life seeing her cry i knew what she was crying about was deep.

"Am pregnant" she finally drops the bomb, i hold her on my arms letting her cry as much as she wants, i feel my shoulder dampening as she cry until satisfied, her head drops onto my lap and i brush her hair running my hand through it as silence engulf us am letting her continue because i can see she is dying to say more. "The bustard gave me a whole three thousand saying i should abort the child because he isn't willing to lose his wife over a bustard baby, tell me how do i throw away an innocent life, what would that make me , it's all his fault he did this, he is the one who got rid of  the condom without my permission " she wiped the falling tears i brush her hair.

"Don't worry baby will figure out a plan together okay, we'll raise this child together and try by all means am here for you everything will be okay" i say she shakes her heard immediately.

"Nothing will be okay" she cuts me shot when am about to interject "you don't understand Lee, am HIV positive " she says i bite my lower lip for a minute.

"So" i shrug my shoulders at her "your status changes nothing you still the Noni i know,the strongest women i know, having HIV isn't the end of the world you can still live a healthy long life you just overthinking it" i say "hey the are more women out there who live with HIV like its nothing its not the end of the world, the still life with HIV ,you can do everything you wanted still with HIV your mind just overthinking the Myth with HIV that you going to die and everything, am here and I'll support you every step of the way understand" i say still rubbing her hair, silence follows persuit after my words, no one willing to say anything after that comfortable silence, i know her mind is overgoing what i had just said, about the whole situation, as much as i can i try putting myself in her situation on how she feels.
...............
After the whole day with noni of just doing nothing but overgoing the problems we've faced and trying to make her happy again i manage to succeed a little bit talking about baby names i finally went back 'home' when the sun was finally down and i was getting thousand calls. I found him behind the counter cooking you could've imagine my shock that he was cooking him out of everyone.

"Hey " i say as i get into the house settling on the bar chairs he equally greets me back with a smile "can we discuss few issues on this marriage" i say pointing between us.

"Okay , dinner will be ready in few minutes " he answers before coming to settle opposite me.

"What is required of me in this marriage " i ask his eyes dart around me before falling back onto me again.

"Wifely duties and when my kids are here taking care of them" he says i nod nervously to ask the next question.

"Like sex" i utter to him he immediately nods his head at that why was i asking in the first place , he walks back to dish for both of us, and place food in front of me, my minds darts back to what he just said ,am overthinking it i know but I've always imagined my first with someone i love somewhere in Mauritius, but that dream down the road. "I've never been with anyone before" i utter out of nowhere he raises his eyebrow questioning "I've never had sex before "isn't it awkward when one utters those words, he chuckles lightly shaking his head, before smirking oh god i touched a nerve didn't i.

"Hmm so am your first interesting" he says nodding his head poking his food with the fork, i laugh loudly.

"That was a joke I've been with about 12 man before, i was a prostitute FYI" i say the smirk doesn't leave his mouth he pushes lightly his food.

"Oh really " he  says with a raised eyebrow , i nod folding my arms across my chest "interesting" he says before bringing back his food to eat.