"I had a good time with you" he says before opening his arms, i walk into them hugging him, i get a whiff of his cologne unintentionally staying a moment too long, his arm drapped around me brings comfort in my heart i don't know when last did i feel this free, oh wait when i was with my family a week ago, but with a stranger outside my home it had been a long time, finally clearing my throat embarrassed i stepped back.
"I had a good time too thank you i really needed this i hope we can do it again" i say my subconscious mentally hits her forehead at what i uttered, she reminds me of the huge diamond stone on my finger.
"Hopefully i will see you soon" he says before my uber alerts me its here now, i seriously need to get this license Shaka had been preaching about taking taxi's everyday is a whole lot of work, i laugh at myself at the words i just uttered, the smile on my face in plastered as i enter the uber ,the uber driver is gawking at the smile on my face , i don't have any particular reason why i have the smile but after the 6 hours i spent with the man i learnt he was Bandile Zulu , for the first time in years i was me, just plainly Liyana Nkosi, my subconscious gawks at me again 'Maphumulo' she corrects me i roll my eyes.
"We here" the driver announces snapping me out of my thoughts, I've been so lost that i didn't see, looking at the house i swear the gods are against me, baba said i should kneel he will never abandon me but at this moment i feel he did, the one time this man comes early would be today, am not sure perhaps might be am reading too much information to this but the lights are on in the house while am sure i left them off 6 hours ago, horror is written on my face as i nervously bite my nails, i was so carefree knowing he will return midnight, the time on my phone reports few minutes past 9, i sit there immobile, the driver is gawking at me and i don't care about his stares.
"Are you okay mam" he asked with judgemental eyes , like a wife cheating on his husband, am I, am I a cheating wife but i didn't do anything, i was merely with a friend having a good time but why did it feel guilty, nevermind the fact that i was with a man i came home late but i was smelling like a man, a whole damn cologne, a sit here contemplating before finally taking a deep breath formulating a plan in my head that i myself believe it too. I payed before walking out, with each steps my legs shook , my legs immediately walking the opposite side of each other, they betraying me, i slowly shakingly open the door ,my subconscious reminds me to calm down and not act suspicious, he is whistling so perfectly around the kitchen , cooking he is in a better mood today ,i frown as he looks at me smiling.
"Oh ubuyile ek'febeni"( oh you back from whoring) he ask i almost choke on my own saliva, the calmness in his words has me shivering, the is nothing scary than seeing that smile on his face when he utters those words, he knows, he knows i was whoring around, what am i saying i wasn't whoring around like he is saying but i was with a man who isn't my husband and we were chatting and holding hands does that mean i was whoring around, i should use the Wi-Fi in the house to google the meaning of whoring around.
"Sawubona , i thought...i thought "i clear my throat where was this lie i was formulating a minute ago, he whips his heard up looking at me waiting for the lie i was formulating, hayibo, didn't he say i was whoring, i was then why is he waiting for my explanation. "I took myself out and lost track of time" that is not what i was going to say, is the a place that closes at 9 in the evening, i can't even say i took a drive around because i don't have a car, i can't say i took a walk around, wait am in sweatpants, i was jogging, it's too late now.
"As I've said before Ntokazi i hate liars with passion please don't piss me off" he says sternly i squirm under his gaze, i laugh internally he thinks am going to confess to being with a man ,never ever i rather walk on hot lava.
"I was jogging "i say , at this moment we both know am lying, i know am lying he knows so the isn't reason we can ask or say anything he knows i won't tell the truth but am planning to drag this as much as i can, he breathes slowly walking to where i am , he leans on the table.
"Unamanga"(you lying) he says biting his lower lip "angazi udelela mini oh yimina omenza islima koda ngiyasho, ngizophinda okok'gcina Ntokazi angiwathandi amanga"(i don't know if you disrespecting me or you making me a fool but I'll repeat one last time i don't like liars) oh Shaka Zulu is back, i bite my nails thinking of another lie.
"I went to the doctor for my weekly shot" don't ask me what shot i don't know myself it's another lie i formulated on my mind is it believable i don't know myself, my cheek stings immediately burning and i temporarily get blind on my left eye, every motion happened so fast he didn't, am dreaming but the sting on my cheek makes it real ,he slapped me, he freaking SLAPPED me, never has anyone raised a hand on me before, i feel tears burning my cheeks.
"Buka ungenzisani Liyana"(look what you made me do) he says his arms softly ceasing the cheek he touched i physically flinched, i don't know what to make out with this. "Unuka indonda Liyana ufuna mina ngizizwe njani, ngiyijabulele into yokuthi uyafeba manje"(you smell like a man, how do you expect me to feel , should i be happy that you whoring) he asked so softly kissing my cheeks, he sighs dropping his shoulders before walking away from me.
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Fantasywhen a young women goes through so much in hope everything will be better, she meets what was suppose to be her saviour, the one who promise her the world but what happens when he becomes her worst nightmare. go through the journey of Liyana.
