You promised

chapter 25

My brain stood frozen at the thought it couldn't be, i couldn't be pregnant not today atleast ,he wouldn't do that selfish thing to keep me with him, were his insecurities running to the point he would do that. my feet propel me to walk up and down pacing the bedroom, angrily, perhaps it wasn't something serious going to the internet i came out with multiple scenarios, hormonal imbalance being one of those i hoped it was one of those even a serious condition i didn't mind i didn't want pregnancy.

"I've been standing here for few minutes yet you didn't see me " he says i breath out leaning on the wall feeling the tears burning my eyelids.

"Why..." i ask feeling them threaten to spill out of my eyes, he furrowed his eyes confused "i know you haven't been giving me morning after" i say he shook his head .

"What are you talking about " he asked before his brain make sense of my words he chuckles lightly "Ntokazi if i wanted a child i wouldn't be doing it on behind your back , you would straight up know because i own you remember" he says his hands wrapping on the back of my head. "I already have two teenagers why would i want more trouble makers more, kids am fine with them" he says, my heart tightens , if am pregnant all the sacrifices i made ,getting married would all be in vein lord please don't do that.

"Then explain why haven't i received my period since we gotten married " i asked he brushes my growing hair so gently on my head shaking his head.

"I don't know it's your body you should know what is happening but i know it isn't pregnancy" he says shrugging his shoulders "you see i don't need a reason to hide something from you i happened to do it when i want it and how i want it i don't need your permission " he says running his nose on my jaw.

"I haven't gotten my periods and that has never happened before" i say " i don't want a child" i continue "am not ready for a child" i add honestly, if it wasn't his doing i had hope that it wasn't pregnancy but something total different, he turns walking away from me getting what he came to do before walking out, he backs few steps coming back to look at me.

"I know every move you make Ntokazi, i know what you do, when you do and how you do it i make sure what is mine i know everything about it" he said i felt my heart stop, for a minute, he knew his face said it, he knew what i had been doing he just playing games, he smirk watching me panick in silence, raising his brow he ask "do you need to tell me something "he ask i quick shook my head at him he chuckles

"Are you sure " he asked i yet again shook my heard he was making things more difficult , he nodded his head "you don't know how much i hate liars" he says

"I was visiting an old friend i was with at school , we met at the funeral and we thought of yet again reconnecting " i lie through my teeth, he doesn't believe me his expression says so, but his face remains calm which makes me more nervous, he sigh walking back to where am standing, his arms on either sides of me as i hit the wall behind me.

"Again i hate people who lie Ntokazi " he said cupping the back of my head pressing it tightly his fingers making me wimper in pain, i felt the skin on the back of my neck breaking into two. "One last chance " he says.

"I went to TUT " i say he breathes lightly backing away from me his hands buried in his pockets.

"Why, isn't my word finale in this house " he says now his face looking more intimidating than it did before, showing he wasn't playing.

"I...I..." the words failed coming out, i tried clearing my throat to level the lump on my throat "i went to apply for Langa there , he wants to study this side ,tomorrow am going to UJ" i lied through my teeth he nodded his head.

"Your brother is doing grade 12" he asked he was relieved and he believed me , i was relieved myself.

"Yeah one of them , Gatsha was doing his last year , a year ago and Mongameli is doing his third year, Langa is in Matric and Phila is in grade 10 " i say.

"Sometimes the isn't even a need to lie but it runs in your system even on small things you have to lie" he says shaking his head walking away from me ,as soon as he disappears i hold my chest breathing out, i didn't realise how scared i was until feeling my heart race going 180km per minute. As much as i convinced myself i would finish school that was now becoming a distant memory, a wish i didn't see coming through, i had tied myself into him.