You promised

chapter 45

My mother's arms are tightly wrapped around me not wanting to let me go, she is still wailing like a new born baby being born.

"I'll be fine ma" i try assuring her but does that work not a chance she still wailing even my father has tears on his eyes, she finally breaks the hug free

"Take care of yourself Liyana" she says cupping my face before Mongameli comes , he wipes his own tears hugging me , breaking the hug i put him at arms length.

"Stop causing trouble for baba, focus on those studies and graduate represent the Nkosi name" i say to him forcing a smile on my face , Langa is the next to hug me too.

"You in matric now Langa you shouldn't be playing start taking your studies seriously and make me proud, UJ requires a whole lot of marks that i know you can get if you work just as hard enough" he nods too before i pull phila hugging him too.

"Wena you might think you still have time but you don't, imagine failing and you will be the disappointment of the year, look at the pressure in front of you, already everyone paved way for you and we already showed you what you need to do, when i come back i want that Mr Nkosi replaced by Dr Nkosi yezwa" i say chuckling he nods his head before am cuffed by the man who has been waiting for a long time "come on guys stop acting like am dead 25 years isn't a long time"i say trying to convince them which isn't working , i smile at myself proudly i convinced myself that i shouldn't break i was a queen. The flashing lights on my face makes my vision temporarily blind, continuously i have to cover my face not because of the shame or guilt because non of those are here, non of those are anywhere near my heart ,but because the camera's were becoming too much , i said what i had to say but i regret nothing, today i stood tall amongst the community with my held up high, who am i lying i try holding my head high, thinking back i regret ever setting my feet in Johannesburg, i regret ever leaving the comfort of my home, today everyone rejoice at my downfall, today the state makes an example out of me, the tears my mother dropped are forever scared and engraved on my mind, a scene i can never forget as the cuffs eat my hand up slowly and slowly, am pushed at the back of the van , how did my life get here, where on the world had i went wrong, where did i lose my purpose.

"Sentenced to 25 years imprisonment "the words that the judge uttered a minute or hour ago still replay on my mind over and over again like a broken CD , 25 years that's the punishment i get for defending myself, it's sad how the justice system fails the women in south africa, i could be held at gun point but am required to do nothing but panick, how many times had the man broken the law yet never spend a day in jail while i get 25 years imprisonment for lack of evidence, i knew secrets, secrets that could break ruin the image of my husband but knowing him i couldn't use them, i choose the easy way out of the missery, for the first time in my entire life i was required to use a gun, what i thought was exciting adrenaline between two married couple was actually a toxicity on another level, what's the use of crying over spilt milk when you can't change a thing, when you can't go back and change things, being the first born amongst 5 kids is a lot ,they all looking at you, it doesn't help you the first to go to varsity in your family, they expect you taking them out of poverty but i guess i took the easy way out of poverty which led me to 25 years imprisonment. I curse the moment i met Shaka Maphumulo, i curse the moment i agreed to be his wife , my life was going ever so perfectly and everything changed because of him.

"Am sorry for disappointing you Noni, i know you had big plans for me and i disappointed you" i mutter silently, he ruined my life, a man i can successfully say the only man i let in on my life, the man i trusted ,the man who promised me he would take care of me , promised me a better life was actually a man who would be my  downfall but i wouldn't blame him only ,i myself had contributed in everything, when they said the were no shortcuts in life i didn't believe it but unfortunately i learned the hard way, I've read about arranged marriages starting as hatting each other and along time you fall for each other but even though we weren't arranged it's still familiar, now i know that was just fairytale nothing else.

"His love would kill you" the words Rebecca uttered that confused me were now making sense, his love hurt the most, when we were following our arrangement we were happy nothing was wrong but as soon as he uttered the words 'i love you' everything started going so wrong and instead of me smirking watching him being thrown in a van it was him smirking beyond the grave while i was in his place.

The End