All I want is you - a Hot Chelle Rae fanfic

Chapter 33 - The hardest decision

okay, guys, i'm on holidays for 4 days this week, so i may not be updating for a few days after. Haha i know i always say this and update anyway, guess this is just a little warning. Oh, and please comment what you think of this chapter... it's quite devastating to me and it was VERY hard to write. Don't cry or anything lol, i hope it doesn't have that effect D:

Love you all xo

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Tears were flowing down my cheeks before I knew what was happening. They were hot on my flushed cheeks, and when they reached my lips I could taste the saltiness of them. I wiped my face, but missed one. Just as the tear fell onto my screen, Ryan walked out onto the balcony quickly.

“Hey, Ian’s in a bit of trouble- Blair? What’s wrong, you alright babe?”

I looked down at my hands and linked them together, trying any way that I could to not focus on him. I didn’t want to look into his brown eyes. It would just make my decision harder. Harder than it already was.

“Blair, talk to me, what happened?” His voice was soft, caring. He moved forward to the seat I was on, resting his arm across my shoulders and bringing me close. I wanted to push away, not just because I couldn’t handle it, but because the hotness in the air was unbearable. I was hot, I was about to scream because of the temperature of my skin. I was surprised I wasn’t sizzling now. But I reluctantly pushed him away. I didn’t want him to care, he just couldn’t.

“I just need time to think, a lot’s going on,” I whimpered, my voice cracking in the middle of the sentence.

“But you were fine today, I know something bad happened, I just want you to tell me.”

“Just let me think.”

“About what? Think aloud, maybe I can help.”

“You can’t help.”

“Are you sure? Just tell me and we’ll see.”

“I can’t!” I yelled. He frowned, obviously his temper was rising. I didn’t want to make him mad, I only wanted to make him happy. But this obviously wasn’t going to bring him joy. I apologized. “I- I’m sorry.” I held out my hands protectively.

“Just tell me,” he said roughly, his expression hardening. I heaved a sigh. Did I really want this? Was this really going to help me? Ryan has been the best thing to ever happen to me. He’s stopped my self-harm… he’s saved my life. Before him I was lost and I didn’t think I could be found. Then he came along, that night in the concert I’ll never forget. When he gazed into my eyes, giving me the butterflies that I still couldn’t escape from to this day. When he pulled me up on stage, and I got to live my dream. I sung in front of thousands of people, and I wasn’t scared. Okay, maybe at the start, but the feeling drifted away when I got into it. Knowing he was by my side helped too, but I had to erase that feeling. It wouldn’t be felt again. When I projected my voice out to those people and they accepted me. Then those people who hated on me… who have made my life a living hell. The people that have brought me to this decision. I couldn’t do it anymore, if I did this, it would all go away. But so would he, and I didn’t know if I was ready to handle that. But all of the memories… his lips on mine, the dirty jokes he made all the time that made my stomach to flips. He took me to Australia with him, he’s made my life so much better. I planned to marry him, and he planned to marry me. We made a vow, and that vow was ‘forever’. But enough was enough; I couldn’t deal with the hate I was getting. I hope they know what they’ve done. I hope they know it’s all their fault.

Ryan clicking his fingers in front of my face brought me out of my thoughts, and I looked at him dead in the eyes, even though I promised myself that I wouldn’t. “Blair? Earth to Blair? Babe,” he laughed. “Honestly, just tell me, it can’t be that bad-“