I was running down my street, trying desperately to find my way to the hotel in the dark. I scolded myself for not remembering the exact location, although my mind was quite cloudy and confusing. I needed to see Laura, I needed her to take me away with her somewhere. We could arrange to have the wedding somewhere else, without mum, without Ryan, without anyone but us and their friends and Nate’s family. My legs were about to give way, but I couldn’t stop now. There was no turning back from this, there was going to be no home to go back to. I looked down at my wrists. There was one cut, only one. I’d stopped, realising how stupid this was. I shouldn’t have wanted to die because I felt I wasn’t good enough. The truth was, I was good enough for anyone and everyone. No one had the right to say that, because they were the ones not good enough. Just a waste of carbon dioxide. Life wasn’t about accomplishing things so you could die happy, life was the journey. So far the journey had been amazing. Sure there were a few hiccups, like my mother for instance. But I took that as a test now, to prove that I’m worthy to go on the journey and reach my full potential. I saw the hotel in my sights and increased my speed. I had the hoodie on and suddenly regretted it, it was so hot and I was sweating. I stopped in the middle of the road and sat down on the pathway, leaning against a stick-fence. I was blocked from the road from a large, green bush that was growing from the other side of the sidewalk, it hid me perfectly. I took some deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. My ragged breathing sounded like a person was dying, but it got me thinking.
The way I was feeling when I was making those scars. I shouldn’t have to feel that way again. No one should. So many people in this world are going through worse than me, I want to help them. I want to tell them that no matter what you’re going through, there’s always something to live for. If you give up, you’ll hurt so many people. That’s the easy way out, don’t you want to prove that you can fight and stand up for what you believe in? That you can show people you’re stronger than this?
A car shooting past on the road shook me from my thoughts. I covered my face with my arms as leaves flew up from the ground and scattered themselves around me. Dust flew into my lungs as I took a frightened breath in from the sudden situation. I coughed roughly, desperately trying to get some clean air. I began to breathe evenly and stood up, noticing that the wind from the car had completely cooled me down. Looking at the end of the road where the car had its break lights on, I could see the number plate faintly in the darkness. Very familiar numbers, mums numberplate. That meant she was halfway home, and she would realise I was gone almost instantly. I needed to hurry up. My legs picked up the pace and I could feel the cold wind gush against my face. I had one more block to go, but instead of slowing down at the thought that I was almost there, I sped up and ran faster than I ever had in a long time. It seemed I had forgotten my tiredness and fatigue.
Arriving at the hotel, I didn’t bother to greet the clerk and tell him I was back; I just ran straight up the stairs, numbers and letters ringing in my head. 3rd floor, room 34b. I arrived at the door and suddenly stopped, my hand raised in a fist in the air about to knock. What was I doing? I was throwing my life away, there was no home to go back to and no parent to look after me. I felt a sudden determination fall over me, giving me the strength to knock as hard as I could. I knew that as the door opened, the person opening it would see my ruined makeup, my tear stained cheeks and dried blood that had dripped down onto my palm. I was surprised to see it was Nash. I felt my cheeks go hot and my palms become sweaty, somehow wetting the blood stains and spreading red all over my clenched fists.
“Blair? Jeez- are you okay?” Nash asked with concern. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak, suddenly realising my mind was completely blank.
“I need… I need to see…”
“Ryan?” Nash filled in. I shook my head fiercely, my messy hair flipping around my face.
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All I want is you - a Hot Chelle Rae fanfic
FanfictionBlair Everty has a dream: to be a famous singer. She gets tickets to her idol's concert, Hot Chelle Rae. Those 4 boys have made her life worth living, with the depression and abuse she's gone through at home. She never thought in a thousand years th...
