「19」I Never Learn

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05/17/21
Heyyy it's been a while ;-;

"Whatever you tell me to do huh, and what if I refuse? You can't ship me out and you know it

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"Whatever you tell me to do huh, and what if I refuse? You can't ship me out and you know it."

Mama just smiled, which gave me a nervous feeling in my stomach. Not the kind I feel when I'm around Ray- wait no no not the time to be thinking about this.

Mama was giving off a bad vibe, you could almost smell it.

"One of your friends will go in your place. Simple, correct?"

This was a losing battle, it's clear she has the upper hand.

"Fine, what do you want from me." I gave in, all because I couldn't allow someone to die in my place.

"Tell me everything you know, alright sweetie?" Mama said with the sweetest voice I've heard her speak in. It was sickening.

Hesitantly, I began to tell her what I knew.

From the day I found out to how I was planning an escape.

I told her every last bit of information that I wanted to tell. Anything to make sure no one died in my place. If someone did, I would never forgive myself.

A hour had passed, and Mama finally let me go to bed. There was an awful feeling in my heart, guilt. I felt like I betrayed everyone, but with my actions I'm potentially saving someone. This is stupid, I've never hated my life more.

I laid in bed all night without getting a wink of sleep. Before I knew it, the sun began to come up.

"Ah man..." I softly muttered in defeat.

It was another day, another day of planning the escape.

Before I knew it, it was six in the morning. On cue, Emma gave her usual "wake up or starve" speech. I slowly rolled out of bed and got ready for the day.

Call me crazy, but I felt like something was off. Not in the atmosphere, but more like I did something wrong. Maybe it was disclosing all that information to Mama...damn it this sucks.

"Hey (Y/n), are you feeling okay?" Emma asked me, her voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, never better. Why? Is something up?"

"Well it's just...um.." The ginger haired girl trailed off as she looked down at my shoes.

"You put them on wrong."

I slowly look down at my shoes. They were on the wrong feet, if Ray saw this I would never hear the end of it. I'd probably hear it from beyond the grave.

I quickly collapsed to the floor and desperately yanked my boots off before anyone else noticed.

After I managed to fix my boots, I headed down towards the dining area, where the sounds of happy children filled the air.

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