Promise Me Chaton ~ Miraculous Fanfic

nine.

Adrien was in tears. Full on bawling. All the kwami's gave him space because they couldn't imagine how he must be feeling at this moment. No matter how much heartbreak he was feeling in this moment he knew he had to open the letter. That's what she would've wanted. And so, with blurry vision, Adrien carefully tore the top of the letter off, trying not to get his tears on the beautiful printing.

Dear Chaton,

Well if you are reading this something definitely went wrong. I really hope you never read this in all honesty. You probably have more questions than will ever be able to be answered but I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you all alone. I'm sorry I kept this from you. I'm sorry I pushed you away when I loved you. But this is a goodbye. It has to be.

First of all, I just wanted to let you know someone has been threatening me, telling me to reveal myself or they would do horrible things to my parents and friends. I knew the time would've come, the day where I had to lose my memory. I just couldn't live if everyone I loved didn't. I couldn't be selfish. I don't know how many times I will be apologizing but I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This isn't fair to you and I get that it will never be. I can't imagine how you are feeling now. I know you love me and I know it's too late now but I will always love you. Forever and always.

This is the fifth time I am writing this. I just want it to be meaningful and not be reused if I don't end up using the letter I've written the day before. So tonight we are meeting on the top of the Eiffel Tower. I'm excited to see what you have planned, Chaton! Hopefully today isn't the day. I haven't told you but everytime I leave my house the last thing I do is put the brown bag on my desk, hoping I come home and still remember why I put it there. I'm not ready for the day that I don't remember. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for you to read this.

Adrien put the letter down. He couldn't do it either. It pained him so much to read that. He couldn't do it. He couldn't. The tears were falling from his eyes uncontrollably. His throat got dry. He couldn't move.

"Deep breaths, Adrien. Deep breaths." He reassured himself.

Once his breathing was back to a normal pace he picked the letter up and went on with Ladybug's beautiful handwriting.

Remember the times you sacrificed yourself for me? I still can't believe you did that for me, Chaton. I can't believe I was so blind and how I didn't understand that I genuinely loved you. How could I be so stupid? Remember when you got me that beautiful bouquet of red flowers? You don't understand how much I appreciated those. When they were dying, I kept watering them like that would do anything. I ended up pressing them and keeping them in my diary so I would always have them with me. Remember when we did that gift swap? I got you another ring and you got me a beautiful bracelet. I hope I never take it off. Same to you. I hope you still wear that ring.

Adrien looked at his left hand and of course it was on his index finger.

Remember the countless times we defeated the akumatized people? Mr. Pigeon was definitely my favourite! Remember the time I told you I wouldn't be here for the day and instead let "Marinette" take over. I can see that your personality stays the same no matter what. I appreciate you so much. Always stay true to yourself, no matter what. You've been there for me twice without even knowing it. Marinette wants to thank you too. She wants to thank you for showing up on her balcony when stupid Adrien stood her up. Yep, that's me! You know now so I don't see the harm. I hope you aren't disappointed or anything.

What I'm trying to say is I've been in love with you ever since the first time I saw you four years ago. You were balancing on your staff and me, being a klutz, fell on top of you. You called me "clumsy girl." I always acted cold around you but on the inside I was getting butterflies. It really was love at first sight for me. I still loved someone else though. This letter is for you but I'll mention him once to get it over with. I've had the biggest crush on Adrien Agreste and he was the main reason I pushed you away. It hurt so much  seeing him with Kagami and other girls. I hated being the girl he'd "practice on'' and I didn't realize you were the one for me. After all those years of chasing I realized I was going after the wrong person. You were the one that never gave up on me but he blinded me from seeing how much I was in love with you. I wish I realized earlier because I hate to think about how much we've missed out on.

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being the one and only person to make me laugh. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for understanding my stupid lucky charm plans. Honestly I don't even get what I'm saying sometimes. Thank you for always being that person I can talk to. Thank you for making me realize there was more than one fish in the sea.

I hope the day you read this will be the day we are gathered around by baby toys and maybe a hamster. I will show you all the letters I wrote to you during the time I would've given up my guardianship. We would laugh at how stupid my writing was and cry and smile and cry some more. Our kids would be sleeping and our hamster would be rolling on it's running thingy. You would kiss me goodnight and we would fall asleep in each other's arms, with the letters scattered around us. 

Chat, these last four years have been the best and worst years of my life. You have been the best person to ever walk into my life. I can't thank you enough for making me the best possible version of myself. Thank you for always being strong for everyone in Paris and for me especially. I love you endlessly and I'm bummed I've never really told you.

Now let's explain what I put in the bag! A red rose for our love. If best comes to best then you will be getting a gigantic bouquet very soon! There's 5 roses left and 5 that I've already used when I did this before. I'm hoping I make it. Next is the letter obviously. Self explanatory. The candle symbolizes you being my light. You are the light to my candle. Thank you for always leading me out of the dark, out of my dark places and thoughts. You never fail to brighten my life. Lastly, the journal. I ask one thing of you and one thing only. Write. Write in this journal. Write about us, write about you, write about your hopes and dreams, write about me, write about everything I'm going to miss. Just promise me you will do that. Maybe even write for me to read. Be the one to bring me back. Promise?

I know you will be a wonderful guardian. You still have to keep all those promises though, okay? Sometimes I wish this never would've happened. I wish we just had practical love. I would see you and immediately have butterflies being shot into my stomach. We would pass each other love letters, get nervous around each other, shoot each other a smile in the halls and people would root for us. But what we had was something I wouldn't regret. Please come over and visit me whenever you get the chance. I know it won't be the same but it's the closest thing we can do. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you to the moon and back, and back again, and I am yours, always. It's always going to be you and me against the world, Chaton. Forever and always.

Yours, always,
Ladybug