[Quiet in the Chaos]

~16~

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                                      ~16~

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NEITHER SLEPT well that night. Although a genuine smile graced their lips for the first time in a long time, neither could shake the feeling. The responsibility, the affection for another being. They hadn't held that feeling in what felt like forever.

Bucky had scolded himself vehemently, his stomach in knots, his already scrambled head whirring. She is the only thing that seems to be black and white to him. The only thing he can see. The only thing that makes sense. But guilt gnaws at him, he will hurt her.

He doesn't deserve her.

Danielle's flushed cheeks had remained so for hours, a schoolgirl smirk plastered to her face. And yet, she held the same guilt, the same knowing and sickness. The same self-loathing. She doesn't want to be responsible for another person's feelings. She doesn't want to hold another man's heart in her hands. She doesn't want that responsibility.

But then a thought strikes her.

A more sensible one.

He doesn't care for her. He's a man, who hasn't been around a woman in decades, at least not while he had any control of his mind. It's biology. It's hormones.

It's lust.

It's not real.

And yet neither could get the other off their mind.

                                 ••••••••

  A few weeks past.

The pair continued their small talk, their eyes meeting and holding a slightly different look than before. Neither were willing to admit the feeling to the other, or even themselves.

Bucky had been greeted with a new side to Danielle, one he hadn't seen. A more reserved, inverted person. It confuses him. Although Bucky's mind was scrambled between right and wrong, he finds himself sitting beside her, or joining her for dinner, or fixing the decking on the porch for her. Because he needs so badly for someone to see more than the Winter Soldier.

But this behaviour doesn't make sense to him.

And he feels the only thing he knows how to: guilt.

"Dani," he calls softly to her back as she continues to fry some vegetables in the pan.

She hums over the sizzling, not bothering to turn around. "I'm sorry," he says after a moment, his voice almost inaudible, his brows pulled together.