[Quiet in the Chaos]

~37~

This chapter is set a little after they all came back from dust and after endgame. Obviously Danielle never participated in Endgame and doesn't know Bucky dusted. :))

                                        ~38~

"Help me,
it's like the walls are caving in,
Sometimes I feel like giving up,
But I just can't,
It isn't in my blood."

<'In my Blood'> Shawn Mendes.

—————————————————————

THE NEWS of Tony Stark's death didn't shock her any less than the rest of the world. She had been in a restaurant with Caterina and her family when she saw it in the TV.

She didn't hate Tony. Far from it. He fought for what he believed to be right, for his friends. She had to, on some level, respect that. She would've been imprisoned with or without him. He didn't deserve to die and despite not being close, it didn't go down that easy.

Looking at the news, she couldn't help a sense of exclusion come over her, hearing about the Avengers, the people she had fought with, and against. And where was she? On a family holiday.

Tony's death was the first reported.

Sam called, in the middle of her dinner, in order to inform her of the death of Natasha and Steve before she would see it on the news. And that, that had hurt her. But she hadn't laid in bed crying, or broken down. She was sick of doing that.

Instead, she found herself running, or working out on a constant basis. It was the only opportunity to push their faces from her mind for at least a few seconds. She felt utter guilt. Guilt that she had not fought with them.

That guilt only increased when she received the official letter of her pardon for the Vienna bombing, however many years later it was. It meant nothing to her now. Although her family were thrilled, she didn't have to sneak around anymore. But she had no aspirations to go anywhere. She needed that pardon years ago. When she needed him.

But to her family, besides Nathan and Caterina who had also dusted, Bucky was years ago. To Danielle, it was yesterday.

And watching Caterina reunite with her family and her husband, selfishly, made her heart ache.

She hadn't asked Sam about Bucky. It was on the tip of her tongue, but it wouldn't pass her lips. She couldn't. She couldn't say his name without thinking she might be sick from pure longing and grief for a man who was still alive. At least that she knew of.

Once again, she had let people down.

••••

"Well this is embarrassing."

She doesn't bother glancing up, mentally counting the last set of press ups.

"My sister can do more press ups than me."

She finishes her last three before standing up, rubbing her hands together casually. "How very misogynistic of you," she drawls, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from her face.

David withdraws slightly, biting his tongue. Danielle barely spares him a glance. The pent up anger, the grief that she hadn't been able to deal with, it was killing her. How could no one see that? Or maybe they could.

"I didn't know you were coming," she says, the pair leaving the garage and walking towards the house.

"Ollie and Faye wanted to go to the football tonight, I'm picking her up. You're not glad to see me?"