[Quiet in the Chaos]

~22~

Bit of backstory for Danielle annndddd the two of them getting closer :D There'll be a bit more of this, their relationship will progress a lot quicker from now on in order to get to civil war. Savour it while it's here, nothing good lasts forever :D Enjoy lovelies xx

!Mentions of sexually assault!

                             
                                  ~22~

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HIS FLESH hand traces slow circles on her arm. Neither of the pair dare to close their eyes, both too frightened of their own minds and both afraid to miss the moments in which they are so close. His eyes remained fixed open, his body acutely aware of any fraction of movement on top of him.

Time flows into itself, filled with silence. Eventually, knowing that she's still awake and her tears having mostly ceased, he says softly, "I'm sorry for snapping at you."

And he is. He hadn't meant to. But he didn't understand why she hadn't defended herself. He hated the thought of anyone hurting her. It sparked a foreign feeling within him.

She closes her eyes momentarily as she feels the vibration in his chest beneath her face as he speaks. She blinks slowly. "It's fine," she murmurs in response.

Another few silent moments pass before he continues. And she waits patiently, knowing the questions are coming. She braces herself, concentrating on steadying her breathing.

"Dani?" he asks, his voice barely audible.

"Hmm?"

"You could have stopped that man, protected yourself," he states, no accusation in his voice, only careful curiosity."Why didn't you?"

Embarrassment causes her breathing to catch briefly. He notices and squeezes her shoulder. Her eyes wander around the blackness, searching for comfort or a distraction. She finds none. He doesn't grow impatient with the seemingly infinite silence, waiting patiently, concentrating on the comfort of her small body against his.

Her finger traces an absent pattern on the chest of his shirt. He finds the motion grounds him. No one had been so affectionate with him in decades. He realises how much he missed the feeling.

She knows what it looks like, that she didn't bother to protect herself, needing him to do it. She swallows slowly. "While I was, still there," she chooses her words carefully. "The guards did long hours, months even, away from home. I was one of the few girls in the base. The others were above them but I wasn't. They'd get bored, you can figure out the rest of it."

Bucky's jaw clenches as she finishes, grinding absently with a clicking sound. He feels anger stiffen his body beneath her. He hates that he couldn't have been there to protect her. He notices her hand is no longer drawing on his shirt absently. She's nervous of his reaction. He doesn't want to interrupt her. He brushes his thumb forward and back on her shoulder.

She clears her throat quietly, in danger of cracking when she speaks. "For a while I tried to stop it, but it was pointless. And it would just end up with me getting beaten, or even sorer the following day. Eventually, it was just easier to stop resisting, to let them watch while I changed, or touch me. And when you're there," she pauses and softens her voice, "And I know you understand that: you're nothing. You don't have rights, you're not human. You're an object."

He swallows, his eyes wide and distant as he stares ahead of him. He does understand, too well. She continues quietly, "I don't expect you to be able to talk about it yet, Bucky. I couldn't. Not for years. I still can't, not really. But don't do what I did and ignore it. It doesn't just go away."

He blinks, stiffening slightly as her small hand, the one underneath him, settles lightly on his metal hand. He doesn't pull away, allowing her to trace the lines. The thought of someone touching her twists his stomach. She runs her tongue over her dry lips. "I know I could have physically stopped that man, but I couldn't, Bucky," she whispers, her self-loathing consuming her, a year rolls down her cheek. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it. When he was there, I just thought of them and I just couldn't."

His brows crease as her voice cracks. "I'm sorry, this isn't your problem," she finishes. She moves to sit up but he wraps his arms around her.

His flesh thumb wipes gently across her damp cheek and he tucks her hair behind her ear. "Don't apologise."

She pulls her hand out from beneath him and both hands cup her face. She trembles fractionally, her muscles stiffening in desperate attempts to still. He moves his hands to grasp hers, their fingers intertwining, his thumb drawing small circles on her soft hands.

He holds her for a while, until her breathing returns to normal and her cheeks dry. She appreciates he doesn't push her to talk until she's returned to a somewhat composed state.

"Dani?"

The sound of his voice has grown to comfort the girl and she stills in case she misses what he has to say.

"I won't let anyone hurt you."

She blinks, the words meaning more than he knows. She squeezes his hand. She repeats the words in her head, savouring the warmth and safety of his body beneath her. She presses her face further into his chest. He releases one of her hands, using his free one to smooth back her hair in a repetitive, fluent motion. Her eyes close, the gesture somewhat soothing her.

"Bucky?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll help you. I promise. I'll help you feel better. You can talk to me," she offers gently. She doesn't expect a reply.

His eyes flicker down, catching the faint outline of her face, barely visible in the darkness. His features soften, adjusting his head slightly on the pillow and allows his eyes to close.

Both feeling safe enough to tackle sleep.

He's not sure how long passes before he replies in a whisper, "You have."

He releases a long breath.

"You have helped me. More than you know."