Haikyuu Shorts

Dumb Ways to Die

Background: Police AU, they have a case that has just been solved. 

The whole department stood around the TV that held security camera footage to one of their more recent cases. A man, between age 30 - 35, 5' 11", had died mysteriously. Either people had all motive and a set in stone aliby or no reason at all and a shakey aliby. In short, this footage would tell them it all.

Many hours of Akaashi, Oikawa, Tsukishima, and Shirabu doing hundreds of tests and examinations of the body. Kuroo and Bokuto revisiting the scene and dealing with the suspects. The techs taking hundreds of photos. And many more painstaking things, everyone had done something for this case. It needed to be solved.

Kenma finally got the footage that held the answers.

They watched as an animal rummaged around the large storage building, the victim came running up with a shotgun in an attempt to kill thing. He shot it and limped away, dying just a few yards away.

The victim pumped his fist and the gun in the air and the gun went off. the bullet hit a section of one of the racks that had a large storage container. The container slid a little and it creaked. The victim opened the gun again as he noticed more of the same animal coming in. He reloaded and went after it.

He ran around the building chasing the darn thing before ending up at the same spot, at the end of the hallway though. He aimed and missed. He walked up going underneath the falling container. He saw the animal a few yards away, next to its dead friend and the victim leaned against the metal frame holding the row of contaners up. He took aim and fired, missed. The frame shook.

The victim walked back to his original spot before the sliding container fell on him, crushing him to death.

Everyone was in shock, waiting to see who would take the gun away since it wasn't there when they arrived. 

The animal went over and took the gun from the hand that was not crushed. It dragged it out of the building down to the river close by and put it in the water.

"WHAT?" 

Everyone screamed. There was no murder at all, a stupid man and a smart animal.

What a dumb way to die.

"Let's find the animal and shoot the thing." -Shirabu

"Yes." -Oikawa

"I call dibs on holding it down." -Akaashi

"With poison or just shooting it?" -Tsuki

"Shoot it." -Oikawa, Shirabu, Akaashi

The four left and nobody was going to stop them, they did most of the work, not to mention countless all nighters.

Everyone was still slapping themselves.

What a dumb way to die.

A/N: Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die. Dumb ways to die-ie-ie. So many dumb ways to die.

That song is this inspiration, catchy and hilarious.