Pretty Venom |N.H|

19

June 11.

I got a message from my mom this morning.

And when I tell you my heart fell to my ass.

I am still hoping she hasn't seen the special song with my name slapped on it from Baltimore. In fact, I even rehearsed the conversation with myself in case it came up somehow. But luckily enough, it didn't.

I think I'm in the clear now.

She texted me about college, specifically in regards to my roommate, saying I need to get in touch with her and discuss planning for our dorm. It seems a bit early for this, considering we don't move in until late August, but if she insists, then I'm better off resisting the fight.

Since I am going to school in-state, I was dreading finding out who was also going to be attending college with me from my high school. I couldn't wait to get away from them — the drama they carried and the toxicity hidden underneath every friendship — but considering I'm only going about an hour away, it was almost inevitable that I would see some familiar faces there. Hence why I took the summer away from Massachusetts and packed my bags for a tour instead.

I needed to get a break somehow.

I needed the break especially since my roommate is someone from school — someone I've actually known just about my entire life.

Paige Barlow.

We met during pre-school. She threw sand in my eye and I yanked her hair, and when we were both put at the 'time-out table' we were forced to talk out our dispute.

I was four-years-old. I don't know what kind of peace treaty our teacher was hoping we would develop, but we managed to solve it when Paige suggested that we played dolls with each other the next day during free time, and that's all it took for us to become friends.

It's crazy to think how easy it is to make friends when you're a kid. No one is judging each other, which is interesting because kids are the most judgey people on the planet — they have absolutely no filter whatsoever. It's different when you're a kid making friends though, it just seems so simple and real. You talk to them for a second and in that second you start acting like you've known them forever and bam, friendship. There's so much trust going into a friendship when you're little, or maybe it's actually the opposite. You don't care about the differences between you. You just care about the laughs together and the similar interests.

We were pretty much inseparable after that. I had gone on numerous family vacations with her and she had done the same with mine. We've had classes together throughout elementary, middle, and high school — fourteen years alongside each other.

We also made a tradition out of coordinating our Halloween costumes. A personal favorite was Halloween of '09 when we dressed up as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Get it?

P.B. & J.

We had our lives planned out by age eleven — our weddings, baby names, where we would go to college, and where we would live. We had the plan to be in each other's wedding, taking the maid of honor position of course, being the Godmother of our first born babies, attending the same school, and moving to Florida together after school ended.

As we started to grow noticeably distant during high school, those ideas were blown out the window. Nothing really happened between us, we just had different interests. We would still talk often and walk to some classes together, but after school we became strangers. That's how I felt about it at least.

I applied to college's without telling anyone about my options. I didn't want to feel the pressure of satisfying anyone other than myself with my decision and I didn't know if Paige would be upset that I had chosen not to apply to the college we had been set on since we were kids. If she wanted to stick to her life she had planned out, then she could go for it, but that life wasn't what I wanted anymore. None of those plans caught my eye like they did when I was younger.