Pretty Venom |N.H|

81

Niall Horan

September 1.

I had convinced myself for a few months that today wouldn't happen.

I had made up a fantasy of what the rest of the tour would be like if Jasey had decided to stay with us.

I had imagined her studying online, doing her classes through the day, and finishing up just before the shows. I had imagined myself sitting by her, reading a book or writing a song while she stared at her laptop screen as she got her own schoolwork done, maybe alternating between that and doing work for her father in the process.

I thought about what it would be like if she had stayed and traveled with us throughout America as we wrapped up the tour. I thought about her flying back to London with me, just for a simple visit. I thought about being able to show her where I had met Zayn, introduce her to Harry's family, and show her where we played our first few gigs.

I thought about being with her every single day. I figured by the time her father had found out, I would lose my nights with her, which I knew was reasonable. Despite her being an adult, I can't say I wouldn't be surprised that her father wouldn't want her sleeping in my hotel rooms and on our bus if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I was fully prepared for that conversation, and I knew I wouldn't be putting up much of a fight for it. I just wanted to respect him in that way, so if that meant our nights together were limited, I was fine with only having our days.

I did however think of the excitement that would fill my body as I said goodbye to her, knowing that I would see her first thing the next morning, right on the usual time.

But every single piece of that was taken away from me faster than I could even begin to start reaching for it.

I watched as Jasey packed her bag to leave. I stood there and said absolutely nothing. There was nothing I could say, and nothing I could have done would have made her stay.

Jim showed up at my room last night. I was pretty much freaking out when I saw him standing outside of my door. I didn't think things could possibly get any worse.

He gave me some better news than I expected though.

He decided to let me come with them to Jasey's school, the final approval after he spoke with her about it before she came into my room in tears.

It's a one day thing. We flew to Boston, we are getting Jasey settled at school, and we are flying back out.

I was relieved to hear this, because the goodbye that we shared the night before wasn't going to be enough.

We were both still angry with Jim about everything that happened, and we were struggling to let go of that anger and use our time to actually take advantage of our last night, saying goodbye and letting go of this summer as she flew back home.

I really wasn't expecting him to invite me to come with them. I'm not sure what Jasey said to him, and honestly, I don't even want to know what his thought process was. All I care about right now is the few extra hours I have left with her.

Although, it's no surprise that I was seated much further away from Jim, Jasey, and Paige on the plane.

I told myself this arrangement came to life because he probably bought my ticket at the last second, grabbing whatever seat they possibly had left available, but I wouldn't necessarily be surprised if he had a say in this, purposefully putting me towards the back of the plane.

I couldn't complain. It was a few hours on the flight before we touched down in Boston. I spent my time on the flight reading and listening to music. I left my journal out in front of me, writing in it here and there and sketching some shitty art to try to make the time go by faster.