House Empty Like My Heart

Chapter 14

I understood why he took me shopping. It was the first time he saw me in the school setting, with my full outfit on. He instantly noticed the pitiful state of my backpack.

"Why didn't you get for yourself a new one? I told Jacquline you're free to buy anything you need for school hasn't she told you that?"

"Of course she did" I assured her I didn't want her to get her in trouble "I told her I have everything I need which was true. I don't need a new backpack"

"This backpack has holes, Elisabeth" Andrew pointed out.

"So what?" I asked defensively "They're all stitched together almost perfectly"

He sighed, quietly. As if he was already tired of this conversation.

"I thought I can entrust you with the task of buying yourself clothes and school items. Apparently not"

We stopped at the underground parking of the shopping center. I was never in this place before and suddenly I regretted not being able to explore the city and go out on my own like I did when mom was still with me. At the same time I didn't want to part with my old backpack. I liked it, the holes were giving it character.

When we entered a stationery store. I looked around and decided every item here was exceptionally cute my gaze stopped on pastel-colored notebooks and oh was that a pen with strawberries on it? Okay, I was slightly obsessed with cute-looking stuff. But still, it was an expensive brand, every item here looked like something that would be overpriced.

"Why are we here? We can get the same items for a cheaper price at a supermarket" I asked

Andrew raised his eyebrows "Ellie, I know you don't have an access to family finances but you must know by now that we aren't struggling. On the contrary, we're doing more than well. I don't want you to worry about the prices, never. Okay?"

"Okay," I muttered knowing I will be worried no matter what.

My head was spinning when I saw the prize of the Fjallraven Kanken backpack in lavender color but it was also so pretty.

Andrew did not hesitate to get me the one that my eyes stopped at. The things I picked for myself was flowed by the items he was picking for me. I was telling him that I don't need this much stuff but he wasn't listening to me.

With clothes, it was even worse. I was trying to convince him I was perfectly fine with wearing cheaper brands but he wasn't interested in anything that wasn't a designer store and after all, he was the one paying so I was left with no choice but to follow him.

Suddenly he stopped and I looked at him questioningly.

"Is it normal for a girl your age and height to wear XS size?" 

He scanned me up and down with suspicion in his eyes.

"Of course it is," I said "I'm really short and mom's body build was similar to mine" at the mention of mom my heart hurt. I was self-conscious about my weight, if anything I was too big, not too small.

I still couldn't believe mom was gone. 

Thankfully, Andrew dropped the topic.

At the end of the day, we ended up in his Bentley with the back of the car pilled with bags of clothes. The bags themselves looked very pretty as if they were ready to be a special and rare gift to someone. But they were all for me. Each item probably cost more than my mother's monthly pension and it felt so wrong to have even one of these items.

"With mom, we didn't have a lot of money so I wouldn't just buy a new backpack every year. Or semester. Or whatever kids at school like that do"

"But you're not living with mom now you're living with me"

"You don't think I've noticed that?" I asked quietly wiping an unwanted tear away. Why do I always have to tear up when he mentions her? Okay, I miss her. I miss her so much.

"Can't you send me to public school? I don't fit with the rich kids"

"Well, you're one of them now. Adjust"

I will never adjust.

"I don't want to"

"Elisabeth, in life we don't always get what we want. You already know that so don't be difficult. I want you to get the best education possible you won't get that in public high school. Your request is ridiculous"

I was stupid anyway so no matter where I go I will do badly.

I had a feeling Andrew wouldn't like this answer so I didn't respond at all, my silence probably was mistaken with an agreement but I decided to live with that.

"Also, don't cry" he ordered "I'm not good at dealing with crying children"

I'm not a child.

"How do you not know what to do? You have three sons" I reminded him with a voice full of judgment.

"Boys cried when they were really young and it was their mother who was there to console them. I'm no specialist when it comes to children I accepted Sarah knows better in this area and many others"

His eyes flashed in pain when he said her name. It was something I never saw in them raw uncontrolled emotion, sadness.

"You can never end up in family court," I said trying to lighten the mood.

"I would rather change the profession altogether than deal with snotty brats on daily basis" Andrew scoffed feeling annoyed by the mere prospect of dealing with kids on daily basis but the mood visibly lightened, he was half-serious.

"I'm a snotty brat?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

"Yes. But you're my snotty brat so it is forgiven"

I could feel warmth spreading through my chest. Maybe he wasn't that bad.

Well, that sentiment was gone very quickly because Andrew was... well Andrew so he had to get to the business and make this conversation unpleasant.

"Elisabeth there's something I'd like to discuss with you, about the therapist. You skipped the school the same day you had a visit scheduled"

"Listen... I'm really doing well. I don't need a therapist. I will get a tutor but no therapist can we do that?" I pleaded. I really didn't want to talk about my feelings or anything for that matter. I've chosen denial and it felt good.

"I will allow you to resign from therapy under one condition"

How was he going to force me? Maybe it was better to not ask that question yet.

"What?"

"You will talk to your uncle, my brother. He's a doctor and has some experience in the psychiatric field. If he tells me you're okay I will let this go"

"Is he anything like you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Scary"

"You think I'm scary?"

"I think everyone thinks that except your sons"

"That's because my children don't need to be afraid of me"

"Other people do?"

"Absolutely"
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Lovely Readers,

I hope you like this chapter as always I would love to see your comments I'm thankful for every single like it really motivates me to keep writing new chapters for you ❤️