Object Shows x reader || ONESHOTS ||

Fan x reader || in between the questions

I'm sorry for not doing a request, I've had this oneshot as a draft for quite a while, so I'm just going to post it so I'll stop seeing it in my drafts. I'll do a request after this one.
Also don't mind that bullshit title, I seriously couldn't think of anything else for this oneshot.
Fan is one of my favorites from ii, he's just adorable.
The drawing is made by invaderziin on Tumblr.
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"Hello internet! It's your loyal Fan here! And welcome to Fan's Fantastic Features!" He did the show's introduction, joyously with a big smile on his face. But that smile soon turned into a small frown. "Unfortunately, Test Tube couldn't be here to record, and nobody else could take her place, so we just have the camera on a wide shot-" Fan explained. "But in this episode, we have a very VERY special guest!" Fan began, his smile not disappearing. "Our one gender neutral friend, straight from all those fanfics you (probably) read, introducing..." A drum roll then played in the background, probably from the keyboard under his desk.

"(Y/N)!" He happily shouted. You just waved at the camera, a small smile painted on your face. "Hi, (Y/n), everybody-" You greeted, feeling a bit weird that there isn't even an audience, it's just a camera recording.

"First of all, (Y/n), I would like to thank you for actually wanting to be a guest on FFF. It just makes me feel so happy that I didn't have to hold you here against your will," Fan thanked. "Hey, there's no problem here, bud. It's not like I had anything better to do, I don't really do much at my house anyway," You tell him. "My life is pretty much dependent on talking objects and without them, my house is basically just a library,"

Fan just smiles, waiting a second or two to see if you're done talking. When it was obvious you were, he just grabbed the cards from his desk and began speaking again. "Ya know, we don't ever tal-" "That's because this is our first interaction," You interrupted. Fan just gave you a look before continuing on with what he planned on saying. "Okay, I get that, I'm not the first person here that you've met, BUT that changes today!" Fan said, fixing the cards to make them neater.

"I have a few questions, and you wanted to be here, so you don't really have a choice, but to answer them," Fan told you. You just snicker and turn to the camera. "Guys help, I'm being held against my-" "EH! No no! They're perfectly fine!" Fan desperately interrupted you on your little joke. He really doesn't want anything to be taken out of context and get in trouble for it later. "(Y/n), please don't make jokes like that here-" He says. You just pout and cross your arms.

Fan then cleared his throat before shuffling through the cards, looking for a good first question. "If I have to answer your questions, can you answer my questions?" You asked. "Uh, um.. sure," Fan awkwardly agreed, putting a smile on your face. That was the moment he found a good card for the first question.

"So, (Y/n), you constantly have talking objects from different universes appearing in your home at random. Care to tell us how you manage to cope with this?" You just shrug. "I don't know, I kinda just pretend they're normal humans? It doesn't help that they happen to be the smallest people I've ever fucking met, but I try," You answer. Fan nodded. "And does it at all concern the all other humans you speak to? Do you talk about us with them?" He asked.

You just shook your head. "Do you really think I just share this shit with people? No. They'll try to put me in a mental hospital. But if the world ever does find out about all this, it'll definitely be on the news, or something-" You chuckle, patting the armrest of the chair. It's actually quite comfy. Fan nodded, he wasn't really expecting that kind of answer, but that's fine.

"Hmm..what about family members? Do you talk about it with them?" Fan asked. You just stay quiet, making direct eye contact with him. "R-right- next question!" He stuttered, shuffling through the cards once again. "Y-your age! I know this might be a rude question, but how old are you, (Y/n)? Your age seems to change almost constantly," Fan awkwardly asked. You just sigh before telling him, kinda forgetting that this entire conversation is being recorded. "It is a rude question, but I am actually-" "FAN! WHERE IS MY CAMERA?!" A voice then screamed over yours, along with the sound of someone's fist banging on the door. It sounded like they were quiet angry.

Fan jumped, and immediately ran to the door. He wasn't fast enough though, a tall trophy just kicked down the door. "I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE STEALING MY STUFF!" They shouted in his face. Fan tried explaining himself to the trophy at why he had their camera, but they're not buying any of it. You don't even know why they're so angry. Maybe they just had a bad day and having their camera missing just set them off? You just stood up from the chair, making the trophy's attention turn to you. "Who the hell are you?" They angrily questioned. "Who the hell are you?" You repeated, genuinely confused.

That was when they groaned angrily. "Just- JUST GIMME MY CAMERA!" The trophy shouted as they snatched their camera back. You then just watch as the tall trophy stormed out of the room with the camera. "Wow-" Was all you could say at that moment.

Fan just sighed, closing the door. "I'm sorry, (Y/n).." He told you in a quiet voice, then pressing his back against the door. You watch as he slid down the door, until he sat on the floor. You just sit next to him and patted on his shoulder. He then took a deep breath. "That was the only episode where someone actually wanted to be on my show, and now I can't even get the footage back. He's going to delete the video-"

Fan covered his face in embarrassment. He really didn't want his first interaction with you to go this way. At this point he wants to just disappear and act like nothing even happened. "It's fine, bud, I've been through worse. But why does it matter?" You ask. Fan didn't take his hand away from his face, he really doesn't want you to see him like this. "Fan's Fantastic Features is important to me, (Y/n).." He whispered, his voice cracking a little bit.

"I promised myself that I was going to face my fear of socializing..a-and I actually like doing it.." He said. "FFF is my joy, it's my pride.." Fan managed to choke out. Wow, he's actually getting emotional about this. You just let Fan take a deep breath before then locking him into a hug. "(Y/n)-" He gasps. "I'll get the camera if you really want the video," You told him, unknowingly, and slowly, folding him together. "Yeah- but (Y/n), y-you're folding me-" Fan chokes.

"Oh, yeah- sorry," You then snicker and let go of the red fan.