Indulgence ( PATIENCE #2)

7. Same, Similar.

Hardin

I have been on a roller coaster just once in my life until now.. My grandfather locked down an entire amusement park for a day, just for me. Extravagant and bratty, I know. But it was months  after Hazel passed away. I was becoming a depressed teen, so to cheer me up, he did that.

I liked the stuff. But I somehow didn't like the lone ness of it. A roller-coaster is fun when you have to scream alongside you. Walk hand in hand in the park, eat icecreams and whatever else, they normally do.

But well, even though I never went on a roller coaster after that one time of it being boring. I cannot say that I missed it. My entire life has been kind of Roller Coaster. That small little amusement park ride is nothing compared to the drama, present in my life.

I could not sleep the entire time she slept, last night. It was impossible.

First, I pondered over the fact that whether she was real. Like, was she really in a metre radius of mine? Was she really breathing the same air as mine? Was she more beautiful than before or I just am hallucinating all these stuff that he looks mature but fragile at the moment. Her hair sprawled accross the bed was long, probably near the waist. And she looked sort of Rapunzel. In distress, but Rapunzel nonetheless .

Not to mention she has always been a princess. Just that I failed to protect her honor. I clenched my palm hard while staring at her, hoping I wasn't too late this time.

Then, after all that, I was way too much in shock. Three years. I have deprived myself of her. And then fate gives me her glimpse, how? Not in a happy place for sure. I was so fucking scared seeing her on the floor that I lost my senses for a little while. She was right this morning, I am I an Animal. I would have torn apart François there itself last night had she not begged me to not let her go.

I am glad she stopped me. She didn't deserve to view that kind of violence. But François will pay. That isn't even a question. He has to.

I knew she wouldn't appreciate me sleeping beside her. And leaving her there on this bed alone was the last option.
So I just sat by the bed on the recliner and waited until the sun came up.

I still remember the last time like crystal. She reacted bad. Very bad . She freaked out. And kind of turned to inflict more pain on herself. I felt absolutely clueless and helpless I remember. I was shitting bricks.

Though this time she acted surprisingly calm. As if she was attuned to the pain. As if war with humiliation was normal. And it broke me further . The way she spoke, the way she flinched at my touch it's the worst feeling in the world, I never thought existed.

For three years, I have been a cold person. Taking every decision without my heart being involved. I haven't bothered about the feelings of anybody. I spend day and night only making VC and Vultures powerful, Equally . I spent three years remaining angry on her for betraying me over Zed, for that fetus which shouldn't have suffered.

But after last night everything seems useless. Every vindictive measures and moves fails in front of Theresa. I am one of the most successful business moguls and the leader to  the most powerful European Mafia , yet my knees felt powerless and gave out the moment I saw her. It didn't even take a mere second for her to wipe of the image of Zed, the abortion, rhe three years. It didn't even cross my mind. It didn't even take a full heart beat to become her slave. I have always been.

I am angry. So fucking mad, kind of angry about everything. I am angry at François, I am angry at that irritating enemy I have. I am angry everything. I am angry at myself. I am angry at Theresa. Yet my dark soul has never felt brighter than the moment I picked up her and carried her to my car. The worst thing about all this is that, at the end she is hurt. Again. My powerful stature seems fucking useless.