Indulgence ( PATIENCE #2)

14. Castle

Tessa

As much as I would like to deny the fact that I didn't, I cannot because  I actually slept like a baby. Like a relaxed sleep after that sated feeling that exhausts you. That satisfactory slumber you recieve after achieving something .

I have no clue as of why right now. I just did . Even post the room being small and foreign . Even post the mini havoc I created on the floor when my sanity was in question.

The bed I crashed on was divine. It was like I was on the clouds. Which I was ironically but you know I what I mean. Just the plush environment I assume , was  so comfortable that slept good. Wierd. I know.

But then I just woke up from a dream. Not like my regular nightmare which has surprisingly spared me since this LA trip. But more sort of a good dream. Maybe .

Feathers. There were white pristine feathers and clouds. Soothing me, tickling me. It was sort of peaceful. I layed there in comfort amongst the cloud and feathers. The confusion of that unnaturally soft dream woke me up.

But then that exact moment anticipation started creeping in. The anticipation of seeing Hardin's sobered up guilt struck face which I was so sure would be evident. The anticipation of how to face last night's slip up,which blew out of proportion.

Then there were anxious thoughts about trying to figure out whatever he said last night. As much as I am angry on him, a very large part of my brain is curious and confused. Because if there is a slightest chance of him speaking the truth then there is a lot about which I have been kept in dark. The three year looks like an Iceberg of truth right now which I am not sure I want to learn or just avoid to eternity.

Adding to all these, my first time setting foot on British soil increased my  anxiety just ten folds. An unknown territory. I know nobody. I have nobody. Okay may be Hardin, but I am not sure where we go from last last. We had sex. God. We had sex.

And he said me things. Crass things. Hurtful. Disrespectful. And I am going to give him a tough time for that. May be. I hope I have that strength.

All these thought taking up my mind space did not allow me to sleep anymore. So I just got out of the bed slipping on an available slipper. Then changed out of my blood stained clothes not wanting to randomly trigger the thoughts of last night. Then cleaned up as much as possible and waited until Hardin showed up.

The anticipation paid off. Almost and Hardin looks much worse than I expected. His voice when he knocked the door was so timid unlike his normal self that I didn't even hear him out the first time. Gone was my Hardin's condifent beckons. My Hardin was confident and temperous and lethal.

A moment later he knocked again. His voice a notch louder with apprehension.

Just at that exact point I felt good. I sat there in satisfaction as I let him wait. I let him taste his own medicine.

But then he asked whether I was fine in such panicked voice, That I couldn't extort fun from the situation. I knew he would barge in so I just walked and opened the door.

And now here he stands. His face a shattered sight . Scared, ashamed. A flash of relief through his green tired eyes. An exhale of breathe as his eyes scan me down, then some more shame. His tall gigantic frame suddenly looks small in front of me. The doubts chopping a few inches of his spine. His broad shoulder pressed narrow.