Graveyard

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The cool windy air carries the leaves as I sit and ponder on my seat

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The cool windy air carries the leaves as I sit and ponder on my seat. Watching everyone around me cry, look lost, hurt and some emotionless, like me. Everyone here knew Gary one way or another. They all had some sort of relationship with him.

His kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, friends family, and of course people he worked with. People who had been apart of Garys life story, that they had been an impact in his life and helped shaped it one way or another. These people were all here today to say goodbye to someone they knew and to remember the life that he had. Knowing that they were apart of his story and that in comparison to life, it doesn't matter how long or short Garys story was, but how good it was. That's what mattered.

Ace was seated beside me and had his hand in mine throughout the whole memorial service.

It was heart breaking to hear that Gary had passed away. He was an old man but was still someone who I looked up to and was there for me during a difficult time in my life. Him and Molly both were, which is why I admired the two. They were all I had at one point in my life.

Ace too was sad to hear the news since Gary was his long time employee and driver. He knew him far longer than I did. We were both saddened by the news and wanted to pay our respects to his family.

I was feeling very weak today when I got up of bed. My body didn't want to carry itself and it took me a while to gather up the strength and push my self which of course wasn't a good thing. After a long argument with Ace of him not wanting me to go to the funeral but me persistently insisting we go, I eventually won the argument and here we were. I wanted to be here. I needed to be here.

Even though Gary had a long lived and good life, it was still hard and sad that he was gone. But most of all, it was scary. One day you're here, and the next, you're not. Everyone was here to say goodbye to him and sooner or later, these people would slowly move on with their lives and eventually forget the pain they are feeling right now. Forget this day. Forget the person. And move on.

But the scariest of all, facing death. Which was something I knew was coming for me. The whole time, all I could imagine were people gathered for my funeral. That it was me instead of Gary.

After the funeral service is over, I stand up from my seat but hold onto Ace when I feel dizzy. I close my eyes and try to balance my self. I had taken my medication today but it wasn't helping as much.

"Is everything okay?" he asks with worries-ness as he holds me

I nod my head and slowly open my eyes as I start to feel better

We walk back to the car and drive back home. Molly took the rest of the day off since she too was at the funeral. Reaching the house, I start to feel my heart sink into my chest and a wave of emotions seep through.

Ever since I received the email 2 nights ago, I hadn't shed single tear. I was sad and heart broken but I didn't cry. Not even at the funeral today. But here stepping into the house, I feel a wave of emotions and tears pool around my eyes but I push them back as I walk in front of Ace. All I wanted was for us to talk. We still hadn't talked about it and how we truly felt since we heard the news of my condition and that's all I wanted us to do right now. Communicate.

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