VIII

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Confessions

"I can take care of my own shit

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"I can take care of my own shit."


TW: mentions of eating disorders



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Diana jerked awake the next morning and found herself in a Gryffindor dorm, she looked around frantically, trying to figure out who's dorm she was in, not paying any mind to the splitting headache she had. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Frank Longbottom exit the bathroom.

"Morning." he said with a smile. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I guess." she shrugged and he raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "I just have no memory of getting up here." she said, looking around the room again as if she hadn't been up there hundreds of times over the past five years.

"Wish I could tell you how, but I woke up this morning and you were already sleeping and the boys said not to wake you. They also said they'd tell Slughorn you were ill so you don't have to go to class this morning."

"Oh ok, thanks Frankie." she said, using the nickname she had for him that he'd never admit to it, but he secretly loved it.

"No problem, I'll see you later." he waved and left the dorm, leaving Diana alone and with her thoughts, which in her opinion was the worst thing to do.

She flopped back onto the bed and her mind traveled to last night, her memory got foggier as the night went on, but she remembered her fight with Remus like it had happened two minutes ago. She felt so guilty for screaming at him when she should've been there for him, he was going to lose his mum too. She knew she'd beat herself up for this all day because at five years old when Remus got bit, she vowed to always protect him and be there for him and she failed.

She let her mind wander to later that night when she and James had gone up to the astronomy tower and shared such an intimate moment. She felt grateful that he'd been there, but also so embarrassed that she'd cried in front of him. If she was being honest, she felt pathetic for letting her feelings control her. She had the tough exterior and reputation that she fought to keep afloat, it rarely broke because in her mind suffering alone was better than being a burden.

It was almost lunch when her friends came back from their doubles potions class to find her absently staring at the ceiling, they all exchanged worried looks and approached her carefully.

"Ana, love, we're back." Rory said softly, snapping Diana out of her gaze. She sniffled quietly and sat up in her bed, well technically it wasn't hers, but she'd used it enough over the years that it practically was.

"Oh, I swear I just layed down." she admitted, looking around confused, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"Love, it's well past noon." Rory said, sitting down beside her. "Have you eaten anything today?"

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