Make me remember (to forget)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Emily

I'm going to regret this so much. I just know it. It's one of those things that I just know is a terrible idea, but I do it anyway because I'm a dumbass. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, let me recap for a second.

10 minutes ago

"Hey, Em? Do you have a minute?" Melanie peaks her head through my door.

"Yeah, what's up?"

She smiles nervously before shutting the door behind her. Uh oh.

"Okay, don't get mad but-" She pauses, pointing her finger at me. "I said don't get mad, and you're already looking like you're about to murder someone."

"Yes, and that someone is going to be you if you don't tell me what's up within the next five seconds."

There are two phrases that should be banned from the world: We need to talk and don't get mad. No one should be allowed to use those as sentence openers. Let's just agree on that.

She gulps. "Right. So, you know the new guy that we hired as a soccer coach?"

"Yeah?"

"He's not going to make it."

"Like, he's not going to make it to today's training?"

"No. Like, he quit."

"What do you mean he quit? He hasn't even started yet!"

She purses her lips and I get the feeling that there's more to the story because it obviously doesn't make sense that the guy I signed a contract with yesterday decided to quit without even showing up once. 

"Melanie, I swear to God, if you don't start talking, you're going to be fired." It's not like I'm actually going to fire her, but this seems to make her start talking.

"Okay. So I may have not been completely honest with you."

"Can you just start formulating coherent sentences please?"

"Yep. So, remember when I said that I knew a guy who would be a perfect soccer coach for the team?"

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't exactly honest about how I know him."

God, where is this even going? "Okay. What does that have to do with the job?"

She takes a deep breath. "He is Sabine's ex."

Oh.

Wait, I'm not following. "So what?"

"So... I may have not been completely transparent with him about the fact that Sabine works here."

"You have got to be kidding me. Are you telling me that I have to face a bunch of angry parents in half an hour because of Sabine?"

She smiles awkwardly and at the same time, Josh enters my office. He takes one look at me before saying, "Did you just break the news to her?"

"Yup. She's taking it surprisingly well."

"Trust me, I'm not. What the fuck? What am I supposed to do now? This is the third time that those kids are going to show up and not have a coach. I might as well just be a soccer coach. I basically do all the work around here anyway. I take care of finance. I write the proposals. I call the partners. I do the auditing. I plan trips. Yeah, I guess I'll just be the fucking soccer coach!" I snap, my voice level getting slightly higher than usual.

I let out a long exhale before turning back to Melanie. 

"I don't care what you have to do. Find me a soccer coach before the kids show up. Or else you're fired." Before Josh can say anything, I point my finger at him. "And you, this is my resignation notice in case Melanie doesn't find a soccer coach."

Okay, maybe I'm being a tiny little bit dramatic. But to be honest, that's literally the only way to get them to do the work. Melanie and Josh only work under pressure. "Now get out of my office."

As they turn to leave, Peter Pan comes in. 

"Hey guys! Sabine and I are having a water-gulping followed by a pissing contest. So we're going to see who can drink more water and then let out more pee within five minutes to measure who has the strongest bladder. Do you want to watch?"

I want to cry.

We all stare at him with a blank face which makes him uncomfortable. "Did I come at the wrong moment or something?"

Before I start pulling my hair, Melanie mutters, "I found him." She turns back to me. "I found the soccer coach."

I raise an eyebrow at her but then realize that she's looking at Logan. "No. Absolutely not."

"Come on! He's perfect for the job! He plays sports," She says before turning to him. "You play sports, right?"

"Uh... Yeah?"

She squeals. "Em, this is fate. Okay? He plays sports. He's mentally their age. He's American, which means we can just lie to the parents and tell them that we flew an expert from the US to teach their kids. And he's also really cheap. We just have to add fifty bucks to his paycheck."

When you put it that way...

I take another look at Logan, who's wearing another freaking NYU t-shirt. His eyes are looking back and forth between me, Josh, and Melanie. He looks so confused and nervous that it's actually kind of cute. Kind of.

And honestly, I kind of respect him a tiny little bit more after yesterday. He did manage to climb the highest peak in the Levant region with an NYU hoodie and sneakers. Yes, he peed his pants on the way up, but he still did it. I really didn't think he would. 

But anyway. Making him the soccer coach is a terrible idea. "I don't trust to leave him alone at a grocery store. You want me to give him a class of twenty hormonal spoiled teenage boys?"

"I mean, what's the worst-case scenario?" Josh says.

"What do you mean, what's the worst-case scenario? I can literally think of a gazillion worst-case scenarios. A kind reminder that the other day, I stopped for two minutes to get some milk and when I came back, he was exchanging his watch with this random dude for a freaking motorcycle."

Logan fakes a cough. "Kind reminder that I'm still standing here. And you're just being petty 'cos you have to do the dishes for the next month." 

Maybe. 

I'm seriously still not over the fact that I'm doing the dishes for the next thirty days. I hate him so much right now that I almost want to make him the soccer coach just so that I can watch those kids make his life miserable. Wait, maybe this is not such a bad idea after all. 

"Wait, what? Why?" Melanie asks.

"Can we just focus?!" Josh groans. "Look, Em, I'll babysit them. Like, I will literally sit on the bench and make sure that no one gets killed."

"Yeah, we can take turns. I can watch their training on Wednesdays," Mel says.

"I'll do Fridays!" Josh adds.

I let out a long exhale. I'm going to regret this. I know it. This is such a terrible idea. But the only other option I have is to literally just coach the kids myself. So I find myself reluctantly giving Logan a shot. "Okay, let's use Logan as a temporary placement until I find a real soccer coach."

Melanie squeals and hugs Josh. Logan just looks confused. "Wait, I don't want to be a soccer coach."

"Too bad, you don't have a choice."

"What do you mean?! I'm so bad with kids! Like, I swear, this is a terrible idea. I can't do it!"

I sigh, mentally gathering the energy to keep this conversation. "Logan, I don't think you understand that you literally don't have a choice. You're doing it. I don't care. The kids will be here in twenty minutes so instead of that bladder contest with Sabine, I suggest you Google how to be a soccer coach one-oh-one. Now everyone get the fuck out of my office. I have work to do."

This is going to be so much fun. So much fun.