Make me remember (to forget)

Chapter 50

(the chapter you were all waiting for - well, sort of.)

Logan

I had a severe headache the entire way back to Adam's clinic. However, I didn't say anything to Em because she was panicking and just wouldn't believe me if I said that I was fine.

Thankfully, after Adam took a look, he confirmed that there's no physical harm and I might just have some migraine for the next couple of hours. On our way back home, I fall asleep in the car. 

When we finally get home, the painkillers' effect has kicked in so I definitely feel so much better. 

"What do you want to have for dinner?" I ask Em, who hasn't said much since we left Adam's clinic. 

She doesn't look away from her phone. "I'm not hungry. I think I'm just going to go to bed."

I look at my watch and frown. It's seven thirty. "Woah - it's not even eight yet. You're okay?"

She shrugs. "Yup, it's just that I still need to shower." Finally, she meets my eyes for the first time. "What about you? Are you feeling better?"

I nod, leaning in to kiss her goodnight. However, she moves slightly so that I end up kissing her cheek. Before I can say anything, she's already on her way towards her room. 

An ominous sensation creeps into my gut. She's not acting right, her walls are up again. Was it something I did? 

I can't think of anything that went wrong prior to the small incident that happened at the lake. I was only unconscious for a couple of minutes, so I couldn't have said something dumb, could I?

I close my eyes as I hear her slam the door of her bedroom behind her. Gosh, maybe I'm imagining things. It's probably just Em being Em...

Before I could dwell more on whatever the hell happened, Adam arrives with dinner. 

"Where's Em?" Is the first question he asks me. 

"She went to sleep."

He frowns. "Really? This early?"

I shrug. We end up spending the night playing some PS4 and eating chinese food, but the fleeting distraction he offers swiftly fades back into anxiety as I debate on whether to sleep in her room or not tonight. 

We've had this unspoken agreement where I'd sneak into her bed for the previous week. But with her being all weird and silent tonight, I don't know if we're actually on good terms or not. 

The thing is that I would have noticed if I said something dumb. Believe it or not, I've been trying to be more conscious of my words and actions around her and others as well. Whatever this is between us, it's the best thing that I've had in a while and I don't want to lose it, to lose her. 

That, and the fact that today went really well. We had a lot of fun with her sister and Em was laughing the entire time. I would have noticed if she was upset at any time during our hangout with Elsie. 

Fuck it, it must be all in my head. She's probably just tired. 

I walk inside her room a little after ten. I check if she's asleep, but she's on her side of the bed and I don't want to risk waking her up. I climb into my side of her bed and face her back. As my fingers reach to play with her hair, I notice that it's not wet...

I close my eyes, forcing those thoughts away. Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine. This is just my anxiety playing tricks on my brain. 

The exhaustion of the day with the combination of having spent a long time in the car and in the sun fight off my apprehensive mind, and soon enough, I'm asleep.