Make me remember (to forget)

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Emily

I've waited for a very long time for this moment. I thought of every single way it could unfold. First, there was the best case scenario: Jade pretends that I just don't exist and refuses to meet me. That was the safe and comfortable option.

Then, there were a few ugly scenarios. In one of them, some hair-pulling was included. But mostly, all of them included shouting and fighting. I was mostly scared that Adam's family would cut him off because of me. That he'd lose them, just like I lost mine. I would never forgive myself if that happened.

In fact, I spent all day drowning in anxiety over this dinner. My thoughts have literally exhausted me from any physical energy. By the time I got to dinner, I had gone through every plausible scenario over a hundred times.

However, never have I ever expected that the first time I met Jade would be on a casual Wednesday night over dinner. Never have I ever expected that we'd be laughing over Adam stealing Jade's dolls when they were younger. But mostly, never have I ever expected that the joy of this moment would be consumed by remorse over a boy. Her son, to be exact.

Meeting Jade was very smooth. In fact, it went by perfectly - she was so nice and gave me a tight hug before whispering, "Welcome to the family." Then, we both teared up a bit before Adam found us and snapped at Jade for making me cry. But it was funny so that's okay.

Then we helped Adam prepare the dinner table. He made lasagna and I prepared some vegetarian rolls which Jade absolutely loved. She asked me for the recipe and I embarrassingly admitted that I usually go with my instinct instead of using actually measurements.

I admit that I was too nervous about meeting jade to think much of Logan. But now that's done, my mind can't help but wander back to him. Adam asks me to call him from the basement. It was definitely weird that he was in the basement, and I couldn't help but think that if he stole one of my Vinyls, I was going to kill him. Even if we're fighting.

I quickly rush downstairs but the room is surprisingly silent. So, he's not using my vinyl records. That's a good thing. I knock once, but there's no answer. I open the door, only to find pillows and blankets on the floor.

"You're sleeping here? It's freezing!" The words rush from my lips without even thinking.

He turns around, surprise written all over his face. My heart sinks when I notice the dark circles under his eyes. He hasn't slept. Of course, he hasn't slept. The basement is a nightmare.

Then it hits me that he probably gave his room to his mom so that she doesn't sleep in mine. "Logan..."

"It's fine."

It's not fine. "You didn't have to. She has always slept in my room, it doesn't bother me."

He doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look at me.

I take a deep breath. "But thank you. I appreciate the gesture."

Again, no answer. Fucking hell, I feel like shit. "Dinner is ready. Adam made lasagna, as usual," I try to break the ice, but still nothing.

He turns off his laptop. "I'll be upstairs in a minute."

I turn to leave but then the guilt about what I said the other day comes back, gnawing at me. I didn't mean what I said. And he's sleeping in the basement for me. Yep, I'm a bitch. "Logan, I'm sorry about the other day."

No reaction.

"What I said that night," My words are messy and tangled and I don't even know what I'm saying. "I didn't mean it. I just freaked out and-"