Destined to Lose: The 5th book

Chapter 16: Faking Normal

When I wake up, it's clearly past morning as the sun light is pouring directly into the windows high above. I'm somehow more sore then I was earlier and it takes all the rested up energy I just got to get to the bathroom to go. After, I find the plate of food left for me at the table across the room. I sit there, eating alone, and I can't help but feel like I'm back at the sanctuary. When I'm done eating, my body feels better. I'm still sore, and have a little limp but I'm mobile. I open the door to the trailer and take a step outside. I look to my right and see Daryl across the courtyard sitting in the back of a truck cleaning out a weapon. He looks up towards me and gives me a head nod. He puts down what he's doing and starts to walk over towards me, "listen, I know we need to talk about everything, but ya think we can just, I don't know, hold off for a little. At least until we're done with dealing with him."

"Why?" I ask him, wishing he'd look at me for longer then a few seconds at a time.

He shrugs one shrug, "I ain't ready for things to change between us."

I sigh, but nod "yea, I'm not either." He looks up and we hold each other's stare for a few seconds. He nods past me towards the trailer and I take 2 steps back so he can get through the doorway. As soon as he's through the frame, he leans in quickly and his lips are against mine. Their rough, but he's kissing me tenderly. We just stand there and make-out for a few minutes reconnecting. There's a knock on the door before it gets any further, and Daryl pulls away to eye the door. He turns around to open it, and Maggie is on the other side, "hey guys, Daryl, we're having a meeting, I'd like you to be there."

"Course" he nods and she smiles and heads off.

He turns to me and asks, "you gon' be ok here?"

I shrug, "I wasn't gone that long" and I give him a quick smile.

He smirks back, "iight, I'll come by when we're done." He heads out of the door and leaves it open behind him.

After he leaves, I change my clothes and head outside. I wonder around for a little bit until I see Rick by the front of the yard, talking to someone I don't recognize. I head over to the truck and rest against it, waiting to talk to him. When the two of them are done talking and Rick turns in my direction, I ask him, "he a savior?"

"Was. Is. Not exactly sure." He replies.

"Look, I know we have to talk but I'm heading out to find the others. Let's chat when I get back." He says beginning to head to the driver side of the truck.

"Let me come with you." I say back, not even fully sure why I want to go.

He eyes me from across the way, both windows down. His eyebrow is raised and he asks, "you sure? You just got back, and you're pretty banged up."

I explain, "I've been sitting doing nothing at the sanctuary for weeks. I want to get out there and help. I can help."

"I know you can, Sadie. But don't you wanna stay close to Daryl?" Rick can tell quickly that what he said didn't sit right with me and he corrects himself, "alright, alright. I get it, you don't need Daryl's permission. Alright, I won't stop you from coming along."

I smile and nod, hopping into the truck to go out with him. He tells me what the former sanctuary employee told him about the bar and gives me his plan. After about 15 minutes of silence, Rick says, "I am sorry about the car thing, Sadie. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known you were in that car."

I nod and try to believe him, "I know. I'm just glad negan's bat didn't scratch me during the crash."

Rick and I share a glance, and he keeps the subject of Negan going, "what happened at the sanctuary? How did you get back?"

I chuckle a little before answering, "you know, I want to tell you how horrible it was. That they treated me like a prisoner, because I was one, but Negan actually let me go. He was bringing me back to the hilltop when you hit him."

"He was bringing you back? Why?" He asks skeptically.

I don't blame him, it's still sketchy to me that he was bringing me back. I decide not to tell him the reason Negan gave me yet, and instead tell him my own theory, "I couldn't offer him anything useful."

"hm.." he hums out. A minute goes by and he thinks out-loud, "I thought it was strange he didn't try to make a trade. You for his people."

"I thought so too." I tell him, "a lot of what Negan did was strange."

He tells me, "Daryl swore it meant you agreed to be his wife." I shake my head and sigh, not sure how to respond to that. Rick catches my lack of response and asks, "I'm sure he's fine now that you guys talked." I look outside my window and Rick asks, "you guys haven't talked yet?"

I shake my head, "no, he wants to wait until this is all over."

"hmmm, I see. Well hopefully it will be soon enough." He pulls off the road and parks the truck, "we should go on foot from here." I get out, grabbing a pistol and knife from the glove compartment. Both weapons feel heavy in my hands, even though it's only been a few weeks without one.