Destined to Lose: The 5th book

Chapter 24: Over

Trigger warning: Mention of cutting

Daryl must spot me the same time I see him, and I utter his name, "Daryl? What are you— what are you doing here?" I keep talking as he storms towards me, "I was going to come see you today."

He grabs my hand and pulls me in the opposite direction of the house. He only takes me as far as the infirmary, storming inside and looking around. He sees Saddiq, who is staring at us confused, Daryl snarls "out!"

Saddiq doesn't question and just stands up and leaves. I try and calm Daryl down, wondering what he's doing here, "Daryl, I was coming—"

"Tell me something Sadie-Mae, and don't lie to me.." his eyes are painted with hurt but he asks, "when did you start cutting again?"

I lower my head. He came here to talk to Negan. Like I told him to. And Negan told him just enough for him to start questioning things. I look back up and tell him the truth, "after we got back from the sanctuary."

"Which time?" He pushes, not waiting for me to finish talking.

"The first time." I tell him.

"You promised me you wouldn't do that no more. Why? We got out. We were together."

I can see how hurt he is, but I try and explain, "ya we got out, but you weren't the same. You couldn't touch me anymore, you couldn't love me anymore. I was hurting so bad. I was yearning for you, for us, and you couldn't be bothered."

"We had other shit going on." He quips back.

I shake my head, "we always have other shit going on, Daryl. It doesn't change the fact that I needed you, but you didn't need me." He goes to say something but I keep going, "or want me. I don't know. I know you went through more shit then me while we were there. I know they took something from you, but they didn't take me. Even though you acted like they did."

He shakes his head and bites his lower lip hard, "you let me believe you did this cause of him, but now you're telling me you did it cause of me?"

I shake my head no, "I don't do it for anyone but myself. It's the one thing I can—

"Control. Ya, you told your buddy that over there." He points in the general direction of the prison cell, "but you never told me that."

"You never asked." I argue, "you made me promise and that was the end of it."

"Well I guess it wasn't, huh?" He turns from me, and lowers his voice, "I'm not doing this anymore, Sadie-Mae. I can't."

"What? What do you mean doing this?" I ask him, not following.

"I'm done. I love you, I do, but I can't do this anymore." He gestures between us, "I'm sorry."

He adds at the end, seeing the tears roll down my face, "you're done? That's how you want to end this! That's how you want to dissolve our marriage?"

"Hasn't been much a marriage lately, has it?"
He asks rhetorically, "I'm going to the sanctuary, feel free to live at the hilltop, or here. I'll stay outta your way."

"Daryl, wait!" I call after him, but he walks out the door without turning around. Saddiq walks back into the house a few moments after Daryl stormed out, "uhm, uhh.. i'm sorry. I'll uhh, get out of your way." I wipe the tears from my face and start to move.

"Are you alright?" He asks me.

I nod and sniffle out a ya as I leave the house. I go towards the cell, wondering what Negan said to Daryl that made me lose him. When I get to the bottom of the steps I have to knock on the door to get let in since I gave my key to Rick since I was leaving. Father Gabriel comes over and looks at me with confusion, "what's going on?"

"I need to talk to Negan." I say forcefully.

Negan turns to look at me from where he sits in the corner and Gabriel just nods and moves aside, "ill be right outside."

When he shuts the door after leaving, I go right up to the bars and ask, "what did you say to him?"

Negan smugly comments while slowly standing up, "the conversation between two men about a women are private." He comes closer and actually see's me, my face, and his attitude changes, "shit. What happened?"

"Daryl left me." I inform him, my breath labored. I hold onto the bars to try and prevent him from seeing me shake.

"Left you as in.." he trials off.

"Broke up with me, I think that's what he did. I guess marriage to him is as special as it is to you." I snarl back, remembering why I'm there, "what did you say to him?"

"He came down asking what I did to you. And I just told him the truth." He tells me, staying steady on his feet.

"Which was?" I ask for him to elaborate.

"I told him to ask himself the same question. What did I do to him to make him change. I asked him what he did to you, to make you change." He informs me.

I stand there, trying not to get pissed off at him. I'm the one who told Daryl to talk to Negan. I can't be mad that he did that. I follow up, "did he say anything else?"

Negan steps a bit closer towards me, and says "he stood there for awhile, eyeballing me like he was gonna kill me. Then he asked if I knew about ya legs." He smirks for a moment and goes on, "I made an inappropriate joke, he stormed in, held me by my throat and I told him I knew about em. Told him I saw em the first day you were back there." The two of us wait in silence, Negan figuring out I wanted him to go on, "Daryl stared me down and I suggested he get his shit together before you leave him."

"I wouldn't leave him." I inform negan.

Negan lightly smiles, "ah, wishful thinking on my part. But I guess he uh, can't deal with his own shit. Look, I'm sorry if something I said—"

I stop him from going on, and make sure he knows, "nothing you said did this. I told Daryl to come talk to you."

"You did?" He questions, standing up a bit taller, "and why would you do that?"

I nod and think for a moment, before answering, "because it's been awhile since someone understood me. And I wanted him to see that with just a little effort, he could understand me again too." I reach into my bag and grab the tomato's, rolling them on the floor, "here. I'll see you later." I walk back out of the prison and give Gabriel a head nod telling him I'm done.