Destined to Lose: The 5th book

Chapter 15: Inside the Walls

I wake up in a sweat, my heart pounding. I had a dream that everyone in the Hilltop top turned on one another. I suddenly remember Negan's plan and sit up abruptly. I look around the room but there is no one in there. I do my best to get out of the bed but the injuries from the car accident are slowing me down. By the time I step out of the trailer, I hear screaming. I'm 3 trailers down from the medical trailer and I limp and lug my way over there. When I get to the door I see blood everywhere and hear a grumbling sound. Over in the corner I see Lucas, on the ground eating the doctor. He turns slowly to see me, hearing my labored breath.

"Shit" I mutter lowly. I look around and see the glass from my leg resting inside a bag on a medical tray. I quickly reach for it as he turns and comes for me. I get it out of the bag just as he reaches me and we both fall to the ground. I screech from the pain of the fall and the weight of him on my body. He tries to bite at me but I keep wrestling him off with my arm. Another few seconds of fighting for my life before I got a good enough grip on the glass and am able to plunge it into his temple, pushing it as far in as possible. When it dies, I manage to push him off and scramble back to my feet. By the time I make it to Barrington house, the screams for help are finished and it's quiet again. I open the door with a heavy push.

Daryl and Rick are on the bottom floor talking. When Daryl sees me, he comes rushing over, "you hurt?"

I shake my head, out of breath. He looks at me and I tell him, "I got one at the infirmary. The doctor, she didn't make it."

Rick directs Jesus to go check it out and he nods and runs out. Rick looks to us and says, "maybe walkers got in. Maybe during the fight."

Daryl looks around, "these are our own people, though."

"It wasn't walkers. It was Negan." I say to them both, knowing that all these extra deaths could've been prevented.

"What?" Daryl and Rick say together.

I explain what I know, "Negan and his men tainted their weapons with walker blood. To infect them and let them do the work. To make you fall in line."

Rick shakes his head as he remembers, Negan's bat. When I was out there with him, it was covered in walker blood. I just thought he'd crossed some. But maybe... They have us working for them again." He thinks out loud, "Killin' our own."

What he says connects some dots and I ask, "that was you with the truck?"

Rick catches my eye, "look I'm sorry Sadie, I didn't know anyone, yet alone you, was in the back. I saw Negan and I acted."

"You coulda killed me." I whisper back.

The rational side of me knows he did what he had to do, but the parts of my body still in pain are louder then that right now. Daryl defends Rick, "well you're here and he didn't. Let's just focus on what's happening now."

My eyes blink wide at him, annoyed and hurt he is taking Rick's side over mine. He ignores my look and it takes Rick telling me about Tara to look away from him, "oh damn, no." I whisper out, somehow feeling more guilty.

Daryl helps me up the stairs so we can all go talk to her. When we open the door, her and Enid point their weapons at us, Rick simply says "hey." As the three of us walk in.

Rosita asks, "good out there?"

"House is clear." He confirms to her.

Tara questions out, "how's this happen?"

Daryl closes the door as I rest against a wall, head down. Rick sighs and explains, "the Saviors did something to their weapons. Everyone they cut up... or got shot... they all got sick. Some of 'em turned."

"What? No." Enid gasps and looks to Tara.

Tara takes a big inhale and calmly says, "ok." Her eyes stay focused on Rick, almost looking through him.

Daryl speaks to her, "when we were out there, and you said you were done waiting, I coulda killed him. I shoulda."

Tara shakes her head, "no. He wanted to be here with us. And no matter what he did or how hard he tried, I wanted him dead. I just couldn't let it be anything else." She pauses for a moment then adds, "Karma's a bitch, right?"

"Wait, are you talking about Dwight?" I ask the two of them.

Daryl nods and Tara says "yea, he shot me last night."

She slightly moves her arm for emphasis. I shake my head, "I don't think he wanted this to happen. He's not with the saviors."

"Sure looked like he was." Daryl snorts back.

"And did it look like I was when you came whizzing by shooting at me?" I quip back, getting more frustrated with him as the minutes go by, "Dwight never even told me the plan. He kept shit close to his chest, but he was helping. The whole time."

"Then why'd he shoot me, huh? Why'd he infect me?" Tara asks, getting more upset as we walk.

I shrug, "maybe he had a good reason, I don't know, I'm not there to ask him anymore, no thanks to anyone here." I push myself off of the wall and do my best to storm out of the room.

I'm slow to move so I can hear Daryl tell Rick, "let her go, she needs time to cool off." I bite my bottom lip so I don't turn around and yell at him. Daryl and I have a lot to talk about, but it's not going to be done in front of everyone else. I stumble my way back to the cot and lay down facing the wall. It takes sometime, but I eventually drift off to sleep.