Assumption // Regulus Black

46

A/N: 

1. I'm officially posting whenever tf I want bc I don't have a schedule anymore, and I like to spice things up every once and awhile :) I gotta keep y'all on your toes

2. We're starting to get into the chapters I have a lot written of already, so I should be able to post more frequently. 

3. This one is quite short but really cute and necessary.

4. The next chapter is a bit lighter bc we need a break from the heavy stuff that's soon to come. Also, things are going to start to get interesting plot-wise soon, so stay tuned!

Thalia

Having Regulus back was the biggest relief. Even despite the headlines that were growing more gruesome by the day, I took (a selfish) comfort in the fact that I had him.

Tonight we were sitting on the couch, reading our books. My body was nestled into Regulus's side as we shared comments every once and awhile. We mostly read in comfortable silence, however, enjoying each other's company and listening to the fire.

We had traded books tonight. I was reading an old classic according to Regulus while he was dabbling in Pride and Prejudice. Both of us were still too stubborn to admit we liked the other's choice.

At some point, however, Regulus put his book down and reached for my hand. I glanced up from my story and felt him tracing the ridges of my hand with his cold fingers. I smiled slightly and went back to reading, letting him graze my skin.

My skin tingled where his fingertips lightly skimmed. He traced over veins and bones, going down each individual finger with the same care and precision. I didn't say anything and let him do as he pleased. 

"I owe you an explanation for something," Regulus spoke quietly as he continued to trace my skin.

I looked up from the book and frowned.

"Ok?"

Regulus locked his jaw, the shadows from the green flames dancing over his features. He continued to trace my fingers, though his expression seemed hesitant.

I waited a few seconds before Regulus spoke again.

"I can't say it."

"Regulus," I smirked slightly, "Whatever it is, I promise you can. I'm sure I've heard worse."

"No," he shook his head, "I mean I can't say it."

"What?" I frowned.

"I can't say it."

"Say what?" I frowned

"It," he shrugged weakly, continuing to trace my hand. 

Oh.

Regulus's expression confirmed my assumption. 

I stared in silence, letting his words sink in.

He couldn't say "I love you."

I felt a pang in my chest as though someone had taken a knife to my heart. Regulus's face was wracked with guilt, driving the dagger even deeper. I continued to stare at him, unsure of what to say. 

I was confused. For one, Regulus was still sitting right next to me, still holding my hand and tracing my skin (an action that was normally perceived as romantic.) But then again he had also just dropped that bomb on me.

"Um, ok," was all I could get out.

"I'm sorry," he said honestly, his touch still running over my fingers.

The room was silent while I continued to process his words. A part of me refused to believe it- refused to believe that he would never be able to love me back. Yet here he was, telling me straight to my face.

"Right, ok," I swallowed finally, "So, um, what now?" I asked blankly, clenching my jaw to maintain a straight face. I didn't want to show him how much those words had hurt.

"What do you mean?" Regulus frowned.

I stared at him in disbelief, finally pulling my hand away from him.

"Well you don't love me and just told me that you-" I began quickly.

"Wait what?" Regulus interrupted, "No," he shook his head quickly, "No, no, no, not at all." I frowned slightly in confusion. "I do- I-I care about you more than anything. I just can't say the words."

"What?" I asked, feeling the knot in my chest loosen slightly.

"I feel the feeling, but I can't say the words," He said. 

I just stared at him. The pang in my chest subsided for the most part, but I was thoroughly confused. My confusion was only amplified when I noticed how conflicted Regulus was- running an anxious hand through his hair.

"Ok," I said slowly. Regulus visibly relaxed at the word. "Can I ask why?"

He nodded.

"I-I don't want it to be empty words," he swallowed nervously. "And I know it's not empty if you mean it, but it was for most of the people in my life. And I don't want to carry that on. I can't carry that on, not when I care about you so much. But because I've heard those words without the meaning attached, I don't know if I can bring myself to say them to you. Because I do mean it, I do feel it, but it's really difficult for me to trust that phrase now."

I stared at Regulus who was so nervous he looked like a lost puppy. And in that moment, I genuinely couldn't decide if I would rather hug him or kill his family. I opted for the former for a couple of reasons.

Regulus seemed taken aback by the gesture, but hugged me tightly. I nestled my head into his neck and held him close.

"It's ok," I said quietly. 

"No, it's not ok," he let out a breath, "It's fucked up, and I'm sorry. It shouldn't be ok."

"But it is," I assured, "It's ok because you're telling me."

I pulled away from him, and we looked at one another.

"I do, you know," Regulus spoke softly, his eyes never leaving mine. His anxious expression had vanished.

"I know," I nodded, "And I'll keep telling you I love you until you can trust it's true."