"Why don't you just leave me alone?" I spit at him, the anger laced in my voice angered him and I loved it. I watched as he clenched his jaw, staring at me as his eyes darkened; walking up to me, soon towering over me making me realize how small I w...
MATTHEO IS YASMINE AMAROS. CALANTHA, LANA, ERISED, NICCOLÒ, KASSANDRA, DAÌNN, AND EPIPHANY ARE MINE.
─── ･ ｡ ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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─── ･ ｡ ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
T W E N T Y N I N E
MATTHEW
I LEARNED from a young age that a life can change at any given moment, no matter how big or small, something or someone is affected in a multitude of possibilities.
But never had I thought that I would truthfully care about the course my life was taking, or, at least, not until Calantha.
Before her I was just me, doing the things I still force myself to do, only now do I carry the shame and guilt of my actions.
But after her is nothing. I am completely alone and nothing.
When I started to recognize the feeling in my gut whenever I wasn't around or near her, the feeling that was never there whenever she was around, I understood then that I cared for her.
It was then that I started to second guess every single thing that I did before doing it, and all for her. Because before her, I didn't care whether I put myself in danger or not, I didn't care whether I died or if anyone else did.
But she needed me, and once I allowed her to have me, I knew I couldn't leave her. I knew she had been put through that pain one too many times, and I knew that in watching her suffer through it again, I would suffer alongside her, because I couldn't stand to see her hurting so much.
I hated it.
Because it was one thing to watch someone in pain, but to watch someone you love in pain, and not be able to help them, is much worse.
Usually, I would never admit when I was in the wrong, but for once, just this one time, I'd fucked up.
I knew she blamed herself for what happened to her Mother, I knew that she carried that burden with her every single day, and still, I used it against her.
I blamed her for everything, knowing how much it would hurt her, but in the moment, I wasn't thinking about what would happen.
I didn't care that the plan my Father had going for her was no longer a plan of any sort, and that I'd failed him, nor that he'd somehow find out and inevitably torture me for it.
