Days Gone || Hwang Hyunjin

1• Arrival

Being an idol isn't easy. Beyond hours of practice, diets, non sleep, behaviors, the worst is probably hate towards you.

When people want to see you down with all their might, they find ways.

Today, I'm moving out of the dorm for indefinite time, that was our final decision, together with the company. The reason? Rumors.

Bullying is a serious accusation, and I was being accused of it. I read about it, and I remember the events, but there were some things written that didn't happen the way they described, or at least not from my perspective.

I got called to confirm or deny the rumour.

I don't lie. I accepted I said things, but I denied others as well, because I knew it wasn't like that either. The company and I agreed on meeting with the ones who published the accusation, and talking with them calmly, remembering situations.

I realized I hurt someone's feelings and I didn't know, I never knew untill today. The person also agreed that some things didn't happen the way they described it, and they also apologized for it.

After all, we apologized to each other, and decided to let this in the past, and cheer for each other in the future. The post was removed, but the mixed feelings remained in me.

Even though the company published a statement about the situation, people kept angry at me. Part of me understood why, since I know I lent them down with my past behavior.

We waited for a few days for hate to calm down a bit. I trained with the boys a lot, since we had a big competition coming on, and we had been preparing for a long time now.

But the hate didn't calm down, and grew wider by the minute instead. I remember coming back to the dorm and just read negative comments and dissapointed fans, that's everything I saw on social media. There were many people defending me, which I was always grateful for, but the amount of people demanding my departure from the group was overwhelming.

I felt like I let the boys down, even though they supported me a lot, but I felt that my own presence was staining the group's image and reputation, and that wasn't fair for them.

Although I apologized, the hate didn't stop. Slowly, my name started to be associated only with violence, companies deleted any content of the group released, because their image was also affected, people still wanted me out of everything.

That's why I decided with the company that I would take a break from my activities as an idol and focus on myself and mental health, as well as reflect on my actions in the past. I stepped out from everything indefinitely, and now, I'm here today, disconnected from the fun idol live, away from my brothers and the people I love.

I'm right now on my way to the south. Talking with my manager I decided I'd like to do voluntary activities and learn about living a normal life for a kid my age.

"Hey, we're almost there" My manager woke me up.

All I could see was mountains and more mountains. We arrived to some sort of cabins, just by the edge of the mountain. It looked like a resort, but it wasn't one.

We checked in at the lobby, and the man in charge took us to where I was going to sleep. After settling everything down, my manager spoke to me.

"You'll be here for two months, are you still okay with that?"

"Yup"

"I'm staying tonight with you, but I'll need to get going tomorrow, so let's talk about the rules.

You can absolutely not interact on social media. No Instagram, no Twitter, and absolutely no bubble."

"Can I at least read messages?"

"No. If you read messages, they'll know you're active. We announced your halt of activities as an idol, and everything related to it. People are still sensitive about the matter so we have to stay very low."

"Fine" I sighed.

"You can still use social media but only to see, no interactions at all. Anything you do right now might affect everyone."

I just nodded.

"Also, it's better if you stay low here too. We made sure to pick a low public place for you to work, but still. We don't know so maintain cautious. If anything happens, if someone finds out about you, you call immediately so we can switch places, is that clear?"

"Yes sir"

"Okay, perfect. I'll head to the lobby for a while to set some things with the owner and I'll be back. Go for a small walk if you want, just keep your face mask on."
He walked away from me, I stood there not knowing what to do.

I wanted to do this. As much as I hate not being able to participate in anything, I have to face consequences and learn to get things by working as a normal being.
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"Hyunjin, come here please" I saw my manager waving at me after a while. I came closer and waited for him to talk.

"Everything's settled, so starting tomorrow, you'll be completing different tasks around the town. Your tutor's going to come later tonight to explain better."

We waited for the rest of the morning for the tutor. Sometime during afternoon, I heard a knock on the door, probably the tutor. My manager had gone to the lobby once again.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting a girl to be the tutor, but guess it; it's a girl.