Days Gone || Hwang Hyunjin

17•

"Good morning  Hay-"

"Morning"

Well that was...cold? She couldn't possibly be mad at me, I haven't done anything...that I'm aware of? Should I ask her?

"How's your knee?"

"It's better, thanks" 

"That's good to hear! So what are we doing toda-"

"Getting more watermelons"

I pursed my lips as I walked behind her, I seriously didn't know what was wrong, and I was starting to get uncomfortable. Whenever she's mad she's got this weird mood and can easily make anyone around her awkward.

We silently walked uphill to where the watermelons were growing. Hayul started right away, still not saying a word. It remained like this for the time we picked the fruit and placed everything over the cart to go back down to the warehouse.

Once in, she grabbed one of the boxes and went straight to the table, going first to the kitchen to bring plastic boxes and knifes.

We sat in front of each other and didn't say anything else. I just observed her like a little kid with my hands stiff on my lap. She took out the phone and earphones, plugging them in and putting music I guess.

I felt very intrigued as to why she was acting this way, but I couldn't do anything at the moment, so I just focused on cutting the watermelons and getting them ready for the elders. 

I was too concentrated on my task it seems. I extended my arm to grab another one, but to my surprise, I had none left. I glanced at Hayul's side to see if she needed some help, but she was starting to cut her last one, so I preferred not to disturb her.

While I waited, I took out my phone to check if Chan had sent me the lyrics. I opened the chat, but I had no new messages. I eyed Hayul, she was still concentrated cutting, so I opened her chat.

Now that I remember, she didn't reply to my message-

My message was there, unsent. I must have not pressed the button properly when Chan called me, and then I forgot about it, because I actually thought I did send it. 

I closed my eyes and sighed, because of course, that's why she's mad, probably.

I hit the button and sent it, placing the phone down and fixating my eyes on her. She had her phone right there, and my message could arrive any moment now.

Her phone buzzed, making her stop cutting and taking a look at it, she looked cute. She frowned for a few seconds, and then raised her eyes towards me, staring.

I couldn't help but to giggle, but she wasn't having it. I stood up and extended my arm to take off one of her earphones.

"Is that why you're mad at me?" I raised my brows, giggling.

"I'm not mad at you"

"I thought I was the terrible liar"

"You still are"

"Why are you avoiding my question? Is that the reason you're so quiet today?"

She moved her eyes everywhere but to me, untill she turned around, giving me her back.

"I'm  not mad"

"Oh, come on, it's clear-"

"I'm embarrassed"

"Embarrassed?" I blinked a few times, confused. She just nodded.

"Why?"

She turned around again and tried hitting my shoulder, but it didn't hurt. "I felt so stupid, I didn't even want to send you a message in the first place"

"Woah woah, calm down" I laughed. "Listen, I wrote the reply but got a call and I could swear I sent it but I just realized I didn't, I'm sorry"

"Y-you don't have to apologize, it's just a text, it's not a big deal" she cleared her throat.

"If you say so" I laughed, sitting back down and admiring her cute reaction. "I'm still sorry"

She was trying to hide her face from me, but I could see her genuine smile.
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We spent the rest of the evening delivering fruit boxes, cooking, fixing, and cleaning for the elders. As usual, we had a great time with them, we laughed a lot. I've grown to love listening to their stories and advices.

However, at the end of every day, I get back to feel down about myself. I miss performing, I miss the boys, my family, my fans. I wish I could talk to them about how I feel right now, but I can't. I actually have to put all that on stand by and focus on reflecting.

Am I even reflecting how I should? I chose to come here on the first place, and although it's great here, I realized how damn much I miss everything.

Sometimes I don't even know if feeling happy here is the right thing, and so I end up being confused and feeling awful and disappointed of myself.
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"You've been quiet today Sam, did something happen?" She caught me overthinking.

"Nope, I'm just tired that's all"

She stared at me, and I swear I've never been able to read anyone's face, but I somehow read hers easily.

" "I'm a terrible liar"?" I shrugged, anticipating what she was going to say.

"I'll never get tired of saying it" she chuckled. We were walking back to the cabins, since we finished earlier. The sun was starting to set and the evening was actually very cold.

"I'm sorry"

"You should stop apologizing, and instead, letting your frustrations out"

"I'm not frustrated" I lied.

"You should let me cut your hair a littler shorter"

"Huh?! No way! What does that even have to do with what we're talking about??" I grabbed my head, more like protected it from her.

"Haven't you heard about cutting your hair to start fresh?"

"Never"

"They say that when you cut your hair, it means you're changing things in your life"

Am I already too crazy, or does that actually make sense?

"Seriously?"

"Seriously" she assured.

I shook my head, "still, no! I like it long"

"I'm sure all that Hair doesn't allow you to think properly about your problems"

"That's as weird as when moms say we get sick because we use our phones too much"

"Moms say that?"

"Uh huh"

"Huh...the more you know" she tilted her head, looking up. After a few minutes of just silently walking, she turned around and started walking backwards, smiling at me. She looks so pretty when she smiles.

"I'll tell you what" she started.

"What is it?"

"Do you have something to do right now?"

"Nope"

"Perfect, let's go!" She suddenly grabbed my hand and started running, pulling me.

"What are You doing?? I hate running!" I complained.

"Stop whining and follow me!"