The Mafia's Mistake (Seventeen Mafia AU)

Chapter 16 | What If I Fail?

DK's P.O.V.

3:27pm

"Does she remind you of anyone?" So teasing. So cruel. He knows what he's doing.

"Does she remind you of anyone?"

The question repeated over and over in my head. The way he said it so teasingly and venomously.

He knew who she reminded me of.

How did he know? How did he know that she reminded me of my sister.

It was the reason I wanted to talk to her so much, it was the reason I gave her my sister's favorite book to read, it was the reason I took her up to the roof because, like my sister, she loved to read, and she enjoyed watching the sunset. And like my sister, she felt alone and scared.

I missed her. I missed her so much. It felt like I had gotten a part of her back, like I could talk with her again in a way you can only talk with your sibling. It's why I wanted to protect her. I couldn't protect my sister, so I must protect her. She doesn't deserve to get hurt, she shouldn't be used.

"Am I only worried about her because she reminds me of my sister?"

I felt tears running down my face. I didn't like thinking about her, I haven't been able to accept her death I couldn't get myself too. I always ended up crying.

How could I, when she had been murdered?

I need to kill them. I can't let them get away with murdering her.

"Maybe that way I can think about her without crying?"

More tears.

"What if I can't get her revenge? What if I fail her? What if Y/N dies too and I also fail her?"

I started fully crying, it was more than tears.

It was barely being able to breath and constantly gasping for breaths. It was having a runny nose. It was starting to shake. It was constantly repeating to myself that it would be okay.

"It's okay, everything is okay, you're gonna be okay!"

It was calming down painfully slow and feeling absolutely numb. 

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5:12

I came out of my room after making sure my eyes and face weren't red and puffy. Joshua was sitting on the couch reading some new medical book about nutrition. The only noise was the ambient music he was playing.

I went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee—I felt so tired, but I still had work to do today.

"So what did Jeonghan whisper to you?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin at Joshua's calm voice. "It doesn't matter."

"Really? Most people don't become pale as a ghost and look as if they want to commit murder over something that doesn't matter." Joshua put his book down, stood up, and faced me.

"Well, if he wanted everyone to know, he would have told everyone, wouldn't he?" I tried to walk past Joshua, but he stood back in my way.

"I'm not doing this to be nosy. I want to know what happened because I worry about you, and you've changed recently. It's not a bad change exactly, but you shouldn't be worried about her."

"Why is it so bad? Is it really that horrible that I feel bad for an innocent girl who got tangled up in this mess?" I raised my voice at him.

"That's not the problem, it's the fact you changed so quickly by meeting one girl!" His tone stayed the same, but he changed something that made it more serious than before. "So, I'll ask again, what did he say to you?"