Don'ts Of An Arranged Marriage

27. Don't Push Over

LEE

The light from the day spills in, it felt new . The morning. Like waking up to a day that was bound to be different than every other in past. The night was cold, but it morphed through and into a bearably humid dawn. I sat there with my back napping against the head of the bed in a plain white t-shirt and black tracks, my head in intervals butted against the board as I stared ahead.

Ahead because she was still peacefully asleep beside me. Her body encased in my shirt from last night- sizes bigger on her. I can't even spot her fingers by how long the sleeves were, only the tips. she slept on her side with the comforter spread up to her waist. Her silky strands fell upon her cheek as the dark hair intensified her pale skin.

And suddenly I remember how flushed and pink they were last night. Not that I had to remember something which never left my mind. But overwhelmed at what had happened I sat there with my hand tearing up my hair.

I certainly had underestimated my feelings for her. Whatever I do- doesn't feel enough with her. I want to touch her more, hold her tighter. Be the reason behind that smile and hear that quirky laugh of hers that she uses when she feels evil. I want to look into those confusedly eccentric eyes and tell her how she was wrecking my world and everything I had worked on for. But I know how the night happened-

And what she was about to do before I fused to my last resort.

I was in a mere quest to shut her up with a kiss. But then I forgot what I was kissing those velvet like lips for as my greed took over. Most of our clothes from the night still camped by the side – and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

I watched her with my heart pounding by my ribs, I could trace a small smile on my lips as she stirred with her fingers curling into paws. Her eyes flutter open slowly to the assault of a bright room. Then they stop on mine.

"Good morning" I wish as she subtly avoids a reply with a quick nod. "Is everything okay?-Are you-are you hurt?"

It doesn't feel good. The hunch of something sinking in me by how hers were so void. She hoists herself up and speaks for the initial wise-

"I- I have to use the restroom"

With that, she ripped off the sheets from her- the shirt covered her upper thighs like a short dress. I began to pace across the room desperately ceasing my thoughts from biting into a conclusion. But when she came out she looked more watchful and alert. The front of her tress was damp with water- probably a result of her splashing herself awake.

She consciously fixes her stare on me- not saying or implying at a snippet of what's going on in her head. But I know it doesn't seem to be doing me a favor. So I grab her hand and walk us to the porch. I make her sit by the cot chair. Bottling up my perfecting patience and throwing it aside I face her, our knees grazed as I took her hands in mine with a stern gaze.

"What happened? Look at me"

She deliberately doesn't. So I make her. I don't care at this point if I was startling her. I can't recite the concerns I have for her when they are clouded by my suspicions. Vile and ridiculous suspicions.

"I think I've waited enough shin- I want you to-

"Last night was a mistake"

I don't breathe- I don't let her breathe.

"No. It wasn't"

My hold on her fastens in hopes of her taking her words back. But she swallows in. With each second the determination of her brews hotter. Until they simmered me into a man that was breaking into one with sanding edges.