Secretive - Bucky Barnes

10 || Lotus

[Nova]
The first time I lay down, well, I am laid down in his bed feels like entering my personal heaven. Not only his scent is surrounding me, even more than it already does by being in his flat and wearing a sweater of him, but his mattress is both soft and hard, letting my back feel loved and appreciated. The best part, nonetheless, is him positioning himself next to me in the dark. He chooses the right side, away from the door, to leave me – if I felt the urge to – room to run straight to the toilet for throwing up. It has not been my intention to drink so much, but somehow, I ended up nausea creeping up my stomach as soon as the elevator put us upwards, already having emptied half my stomach when I changed clothes.

Gladly, James put down a bucket and a towel right next to the bed for me in case time would run out for me, aspirin on the nightstand, and made me drink an entire bottle of water, just to place the next one right next to the bucket. »Tomorrow, you'll eat bananas, pickled gherkins, scrambled eggs and black coffee. That should help, next to the water.« His voice is raspy now, overwhelmed from tiredness. Why did I not think of him waking up in the middle of the night to pick me and my friends up when I started this strange behaviour beforehand?

»Thank you.« I mumble, still embarrassed. He turns off the light, and tingles run through every single of my vines into my bones when he wraps his arm underneath the blanket around my stomach and gently, not too fast, pulls me close. I do not even bother which one it is, as long as it holds me tight and is one of James's.

»Anything for you.« His lips brush my cheek before he snuggles his head into the curve of my neck. I happily discover that at least my hair will not annoy him, it laying between my skull and pillow braided. Pleasant shivers run down my spine, and just for a moment, it is silent.

»James?«

»Mhm?«

I run down my fingers along his lower arm, detecting it as the real one, and intertwine our fingers. »Can I ask you something?«

»Anything.«

His long lashes brush against my skin, waving goosebumps all over my body, not to hide in cause of our closeness. »On our second date, you didn't drink because you had to expect emergency calls. When you went away yesterday, you had two glasses of wine beforehand. Doesn't your boss care about your safety?« I would not dare him to lie to me in that manner. There is no reason to do so, and he promised he would not lie to me anymore. So, in conclusion, it has to be his boss or anyone else who does not care whether he drunk or not.

I honestly do not know where this came from, all of a sudden. Sure, I had wondered about it last time I was in this room, but it did not occur to me until the words escaped my lips. My dizziness must still cloud some parts of my brain after all.

He sighs, but his facial features move, letting me believe he is curling his mouth upwards tiredly. »I guess I can cope with alcohol better than others.«

I move around, looking right into his face. These steel blue eyes are luminous in the moonlight, almost making me forget what it was that I wanted to answer in the first place, looking down at me lovingly, but almost asleep. Fighting of the urge to close the eyelids and cut my sight from the mirror of my boyfriend's soul. »Do me the favour and promise me not to drink anymore whenever you expect emergency calls, please. I don't want anything to happen to you.« Slowly, I reach up to place my hand on his cheek. I still can feel his arm wrapped around my torso, the heat radiating from him, and his messy hair making him seem like a painting of Sandro Botticelli. He is taking my breath away, physically and mentally. »No job in the world is worth such a risk.« The soft skin of his face is almost unbearable for me, my heart racing like being in the first downfall of a rollercoaster, waking me entirely.