Secretive - Bucky Barnes

12 || Late Night Walk

[James]
The bad feeling inside me does not subside, not even after more than an entire day. It set in in the middle of the night, like someone shaking my shoulders with the force of an earthquake intensity Seven. I arouse sweat-soaked and heavily breathing, lungs like someone put cotton into them to erase any space for air.

And I knew before I had the time orientating myself, or remembering my name, coming out of sleeps dazzle. My heart ached differently than usual, and all I could think about was something having happened to her. Like a sudden impulse.

I thought it could not be, thought Nova could look after herself. I saw her fighting, saw her eyes starting to glow. Saw her running and moving as fast as Steve and I, saw her equalling a Super Soldier without knowing, and without any problems but distractions. And although I was uneasy the entire time; I am in love with her and do not know whether she is in danger or not, what she currently is doing or how it is going for her, some part of me knew that my girl is able to defend herself better than anyone else.

Well, the person who has been my girl.

But ever since waking up that night, not finding anything with another routine try of mine to track her down, this feeling made me nervous. Very nervous. And I could not stand it any longer, because it increased with every passing minute and started to drive me crazy. But what should I do? I cannot search the whole world for her, and with her having no family or friends she would go now to, she could be anywhere. So, I decided to try it.

But even after emptying about thirty bottles, I was not even in the least dizzy.

When Steve joined the morning of the day before yesterday, my heart shattered the hundredth time. Nova does not look healthy. Still good, that is out of question, but not healthy. Like she did in her exam phase but worse. Her skin has been a little paler, her rosy lips as well, and the way her chin bone was emphasized – she definitely eats way too less. 

I first thought I could not be there for her. That I could do nothing. Until Steve mentioned her parents's death, and with Nova's and Jonas's absence, Coco would have been left alone with Carly or anyone, surely nobody Nova would have wanted to keep her dog.

So I got ready. And got her dog. And spent some of Stark's money for food and bowls and whatever dogs need. I even bought a new pillow for her, it now resting next to my bed, but Coco cuddling right next to me, no fear of my metal arm, and repeatedly licking my cheeks.

And I am a little confused about this. Nova described Coco as protective, and German Shepherds are known for this in their nature, but somehow her dog accepted me the moment I walked into the police station to get her, running towards me, jumping like she knew me my whole life.

Maybe she senses we both share a deep love for a very important person.

Whatever it is, it is enough to make her think she needs to protect me. This is proven when someone knocks onto the door, and Coco's up again, a black ball of fur scooting towards the noise and barking loudly.

Sitting up, I walk through the room a second later that is only a few shades lighter than her fur, shoving her aside with a shhh sound, and opening the door only a gap, just enough to peek through. Blinking a few times, my eyes adjust as fast as I am used to to the bright light coming from the corridor and its white walls.

Steve stands, in jogging pants and a black, tight shirt in my front. Blonde hair shining lightly, I can see a spark of hope in his blue eyes while my flesh hand places itself on Coco's chest, me bending down, to hold her back and not bite Steve into his legs. Or somewhere higher. I would dare Nova to have her trained like that.

Steve's facial features seem a little more relaxed than usually, and I guess that is because of me looking like an actual human, and not like something that threatens to root into the ground anymore. »Hey, pal. I, well,« he rubs his hands together, looks shortly down to the ground, than back up again into my eyes. Nothing but hope there, and a small hint of insecurity. »I wanted to ask if you may needed some company walking that dog out.« He points down, and if she was feeling mocked by the gesture, Coco starts growling slightly.