Secretive - Bucky Barnes

20 || Growing Old

Five days. I got five days until Earth eventually goes down, or at least, tons of people will die. Because of me.

And it is inevitable. I had discussed with them, had told them that it was not me, that I did not shoot, that I did not kill Alistair. Evidently, they knew it was Steele but seen him rot anyways, therefore not being much longer among us and no problem. Plus, I would be a greater obstacle and Steele was something to be dealt with within ten minutes. In their belief.

To be more detailed, I have about four days and twenty-two hours left. Left to figure out a plan and rescue this world with as less victims as possible. As less innocents dying as possible. I gave myself a promise a long time ago, and I am willing to make it a vow carved into my gravestone, if that is what is asked. Regardless of how much my life has changed ever since, of who I have been and what I am now.

It is completely quiet when I return into the forest, wandering about on the frozen ground and hearing the icy crystals crunch beneath my feet. There is no wind, no cold breeze ruffing my hair, through my face, almost as if Mother Nature was offended by Nike's and my encounter, which led to us taking the job. Or rather, our emotions taking over, controlling what is hers, originally.

The stars are still high, to my surprise, and it makes me wonder if time passes differently there and here, or if I actually only have been gone for maybe an hour.

After I caught myself from the nausea the journey caused, my mind soon wandered off to a whole different problem. I would have to tell James. And James would definitely not want to stand down. But I cannot let the both of us into the fight, because should we die, Steve and Rebecca would be orphans. I cannot let that happen, but neither have I a single ounce of power left to discuss the matter with James now. We are in a tough space anyways, and this would surely just put oil into the fire.

Then again, I can impossibly not tell James now. I have to talk to someone, to seek help with what the heck I am about to do now. I cannot simply go to bed, can I?

Already having considered to talk to the only one imagineable for me to have a rather deep conversation with, namely Matthew Murdock, I throw away the thought soon. He is too far away, and I do not think I would be all too happy either to talk with anyone about this else than James.

Because James has always been there. He has always been reasonable, been a light in the darkness for me in the most cheesy of ways. He has always had an open ear, always considering all sides, whether he liked them or not. I love talks with James, all talks in general, appreciate every word. But especially, I loved when the both of us coped, fit like a hole and a key, harmonized perfectly and found solutions. There was nobody better than us, no one better working together be it own problems, or problems of the world. Like yin and yang, better than Bonnie and Clyde. I really, really want to talk about this with him. Like we always have.

I just do not know if this still is a possibility, and some part of me does not want to find out, fearing the answer.

But what should I do? I do not want to take all the celestial beings down; I cannot. Although I can burn numerous people at once, freeze them, fight them, burn them; these are humans. A human's structure is easy, to figure out exact points to make pain the most efficient or how to control their body temperature. It is like a child's puzzle to me that I solved a million times in my life; I just know where to set on to have whatever outcome I prefer.

Gods are different. Next to the fact that their physics are not the same as the one of the people surrounding me, affecting them is much harder. Tears more on my power that I would rather need to stand and continue protecting anyone on this planet. I do not think I would not get them all down, but I do not want to know how I look the second I am done with them. As Steele, perhaps? A wandering corpse? About to rot? Would I even make it against all of them at once, really, should they all agree with Poseidon?