Secretive - Bucky Barnes

11 || In Eternal Love

She never was there.
It was all my imagination.
I really did go crazy.

Slowly, I turn my head, facing the two children again. Not able to comprehend the situation. Not in the least. »I, uh, asked her in which world she was living in, currently.« I stutter, but it is more like someone else, not me, is saying it. Some voice that is not mine, someone far away scratching the back of my consciousness.

With that confirmed, the boy finally let his sister get closer to me, her stepping right into my front and glancing me up and down, as if scrutinizing every little detail of me, memorizing it. Then, without a warning, her small arms embrace my left leg, her face hidden in my jeans, muffling her next sentence. »I've missed you, although I never knew you to now.«

I am completely overwhelmed. I have no idea how to deal with... kids? I mean, sure, I could get along with them for probably a couple of hours. But my own? Forever? I, well, I always dreamed of having some. But that included much more preparation, especially with the woman of my dreams – following the progress through pregnancy, holding her hand when she gives birth, raising them from the very first seconds. Nova must have done this all on her own. Nobody around to help her through. Nobody to give her hints, nobody to help her raise them. And yet, these kids seem so polite, so well raised – this woman really is a hero in every way possible.

But why are they so tall? She definitely had not had kids the last time we met. She was not even pregnant, was she? Did she not blip? How is it possible they look like four to five years old? Thinking about it, this really can only be when they did not blip, meaning they got through all the misery. Oh, my God. I do not know if I am ready for this. But I guess I have to be. This is a miracle, after all. A life I always wished for Nova and me to have, although we never talked about getting children; not really directly, at least. It always seemed to be chimes of a far future with her young years.

Kneeling down to the girl, I only then recognize my slightly blurred sight, and the smile that crosses my face from one ear to the other. We really are family, now. I embrace her, waving the young boy who stuck back the necklace into his pocket over with my free hand. He comes, too, if a little hesitantly, and I take them both into my arms, holding them tight.

That is when it hits me. Hits me like a brick. Realization. Recognition. If no one would have told me, I knew they are my children anyways. I just knew it from the sentiment rolling over, coming crashing down my mind, my spine, my every emotion. These are my kids. »I'm so glad« I start, pulling a little out, ruffling through their hair, »you two made it. Seems like a rough journey that's behind you.«

Both of them nod, and a quiet sob in the background makes me prick my ears. Gaze darting upwards, I can see Peter rubbing a hand along the skin underneath his eyes, them slightly reddened. »Congratulations, I guess. It's just so nice to see you finally with that happy sparkle in your eyes, Sir.« he mumbles, »But I really have to go to school, now. See you.«

I nod in thanks; deeply rooted, honest thanks. Who knows where they would have ended up if it was not for Peter. I really have to get him something, a present, to show the appreciation. Although I am not really good at making gifts. Then, I direct my glance down to the children, eyeing the boy first, then the girl. Did he not call her Becca, before? »You must be hungry. Lucky for you, I just made the best omelet there is on this planet.«

Two minutes later, both children sit on the black couch in front of the TV, each of them eating half an omelet. My stomach growls, but I just swallow down my own appetite while calling Sam.

When I let them in before, their first question was about all the medical supports in my bedroom, which almost caused a heart attack inside me. I know now my mind did tricks to me, but to face it, is something else entirely. Not to mention how absolutely not I could simply tell them. No, instead, I told them I had a friend over and did not know how long, who hurt himself pretty badly and I got some special permission from the hospital to help him get on his legs by his own, and that he disappeared this morning, for what reason it all still stands there.