Secretive - Bucky Barnes

47 || Quit

[Nova]
Automatically, my hand travels up my body and to the necklace James presented me some time ago. It now happens almost unconsciously, and I start rubbing the tips of the little, silver star on it between my thumb and my index finger. I never put the gift down since worn the first time.

»How many deaths?« I ask, breathing slowly to keep my heart pace down.

This is not my fault. This is not my fault.

Berlin has not been, neither. Like a mantra, I whisper it over and over in my mind again. Before I get out of bed in the morning, before I fall asleep at night. Seemingly, it did not reach its intention, but I cannot put the thoughts out like a switch either.

»They don't know. Firefighters and police just arrived, 'couple men still running out, some burning, some just fall down to the ground like sacks of potatoes.« he says nonchalantly, and I wonder how he can be so calm about it. With so less empathy. Probably it is the relief in him knowing I have not been at home.

Which leads to another mystery. Why destroy my living place knowing I am there currently?
»What did you do near my flat at this time anyways?« I wonder, maybe a little too reproachful and forward. Something crackles in the background, becoming louder by second, and men screaming. I figure him near the building.

»I, uh,« he starts, trying to find words and having obviously a hard time by it, »I actually was in your flat.«

»You what?!"«

Even Sam and Steve share confused glances after James's words, him still being on the speaker, then both staring down at the display again. »Look, I wanted to surprise you with some books when you're back, but I don't know the entirety of your belongings, and I didn't want to buy something you already had.« James elaborates, voice charming and seducing me in a way that tells me is on purpose, and I cannot be mad at him in the least. I mean, who could? I well can imagine his big, storm blue eyes in my front, and the need to hug him washes over me.

I sigh, not really knowing on whether to lecture him or to skip it. »You know you're the one having birthday when I'm back, right?«

»Do I? Did I tell you? My birthday's actually in, er, December.«

»Very convincing, Jamie.« The nickname is willingly chosen, just as he tried to play me beforehand, and causes Sam to chuckle. James growls on the other end of the line, but does not complain. »You know I got you something anyways, whether you're Pisces or Capricorn, I don't care. You'll get it.«

»My favourite present would be you to accept the gifts I want to make you.« he states almost matter-of-factly, and adds for the understanding of the others, »No matter how many.«

»We gonna have that discussion another time – again. Are you hurt?«

»No. Do I sound hurt?« he asks back, a little grumpy. Very probably, he just stares like the grinch into nothingness right now.

»'You sure? Better go for a paramedic. Could become a fume poisoning if you've been in the building.« Sam's look speaks of confusion, again. Man, he changes moods like the content in my stomach changes places when I am on a rollercoaster. It probably is caused by my voice, all small and soft. But I cannot help it when I am with James. It just happens.

»You should've seen her with Nat. One second, she hits her, next second she's on her knees in front him. Wonder that doesn't cause nausea.« Cap brings himself in mockingly, and I hit him in his upper arm with my fist, stronger than I would to usual people and more fortunate about the higher level of relief inside that is caused by my punch.

In act, he rubs his arm and squeezes an »Oww« through his teeth.

»Oh, shut up.« I say, but cannot help grinning amused. »James? Is there anything you can tell us about the sequence of events?«