Chapter 58 - Tough chats

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Y/n's POV :

Carmen, Carmen, staying up 'til morning
Only seventeen, but she walks the streets so mean
It's alarming, truly, how disarming you can be
Eating soft ice cream, Coney Island queen
She says, "you don't want to be like me
Looking for fun, get me high for free
I'm dying, I'm dying"
She says, "you don't want to get this way
Street walk at night, and a star by day"
It's tiring, tiring.

The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen

She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes
She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond
Buy her tonight, she's still shining
Like lightning, oh, like lightning

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・゜゜・

I awoke the next morning with a splitting headache, when I eventually opened my eyes I realized I wasn't in my dorm. I sharply sat up which was a mistake because it made my head spin and I grimaced in pain. Once my eyes decided to focus, I realized I was in the room of requirement and someone had bought me here.

Over on the sofa, asleep, was Regulus. He must have bought me here. "Oh for God sake." I muttered. He was so confusing and I didn't like it. All my friends were brutally honest all the time, there was never any mixed feelings. So I didn't know how to figure him out. "Wake up."

Regulus woke up startled at my voice and blinked. "Ah shit, y/n I didn't mean to fall asleep here-"

"Did you bring me here?" I asked him.

He nodded "Yeah since you were passed out drunk outside. You're not looking after yourself y/n."

"Okay." I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it, I was still upset over the way he had acted

"Listen you need to realise I don't mean anything I say when I'm with Barty I have to be like that, I'm under so much scrutiny now more than ever. You know why." He sighed and stood up walking over to me.

"I'm fine Reg, really I am. Something about it just doesn't sit right with me, I want to be able to defend you but you make it so hard. Trust me I don't want us to be like this but what choice do I have?" I sighed.

"I have to Y/n, you have to know that. Anyway you should be getting back, Freddie and Sirius will be worried." He said stiffly and I knew he was bitter.

"Reg I'm sorry I was angry and scared and I was still in shock I shouldn't have said those things. I'm an absolute mess." I put my head in my hands, what was I doing? Going around getting high and passing out drunk. I literally hooked up with Freddie in return for some weed. I was disgusted with my self.

"You're not a mess y/n, times are hard." He said in a much softer tone, I had only ever heard him talk to me that way.

"I'm so sorry Reg I'll try to be better." I wanted to hug him and feel his arms around me but that couldn't be.

"You're alright y/n." He said and there was silence for a little while. Not awkward but not entirely comfortable.

"You wanna know what my boggart was?" I asked him.

He nodded "Go on then."

"It was you, you were dead. Of all the people I care about that was my biggest fear."

He looked surprised and nodded. "You care about me that much, yet you still left."

I shook my head and looked into his eyes. "It was because I care about you so much that I had to leave. I know that you understand you just don't want to. Your family will be harsher on you than they ever were on Sirius, I won't be the reason you get hurt or worse..." We were close together now, sat inches apart each other.
He leaned in for a kiss and for a second I wanted to but I pulled away. "You're right I should get going."
I was in my clothes anyway so I slipped on my shoes and walked out.

I had a pounding headache when I went into the great hall for breakfast luckily we had no classes that day. Freddie came and sat next to me, tables sorted by houses weren't as much of a big deal at breakfast and lunch.

"Morning!" He smiled cheerily, the way James did.

"Hey Freddie." I smiled a little.

"Are you alright? You seem off." He asked me as he spread honey on his toast.

"I have a bit of a hangover but I'm okay, I just bumped into Regulus too that wasn't too good." Freddie was a good listener, he was always honest and I knew he wouldn't tell a soul.

"Oh that's a bit shit. You dated him didn't you?" He asked as he ate his toast, I just had little bits of porridge.

"Yeah, for quite a while too." I nodded.

"What happened?"

He became a death eater.

"I saw his true colours, he punched my brother and yesterday he put a boggart in the corridors which I bumped into." I explained, it felt nice to tell someone.

"I don't know how you managed, you deserve to be treated better than that by someone genuine." He gave me a smile.

"Yeah I'm not really looking to date anyone, I have good friends. I should be focused on that." I smiled.

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea." Freddie nodded with a smile after some hesitation. I noticed that just as Reg was walking past he spoke up again. "Well we've got a day off today so do you fancy going to Hogsmede? Butterbeers on me." He smiled.

"Aw how sweet." Mulciber teased from over on the Slytherin table, turning around to face us.

"You've been round the whole school Potter, when do I get a turn?" Barty grinned wickedly and even the thought made me want to puke. I saw Reg clench his jaw and I could imagine he would like to punch Barty. "Can't let Reg have all the fun."

"Leave her alone." Freddie frowned.

"I'd sooner fuck Filch." I said simply "Excuse me boys." I said and stood up, taking Freddie's hand and walked to Hogsmede with him. Freddie was good at distracting me, he made me laugh and I felt very comfortable around him, he didn't judge.

((I don't know if I'll be uploading as much this week bc I'm on holiday so won't have the time to write but I'll be doing my besttttt

Also I'm considering writing a JJ Outer Banks fan fic after this one what are all of your thoughts on that? I'd love to know
- Author :)

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