UNREQUITED LOVE-THE UNSTRECHED STRINGS OF TWO HEARTS ✔️

58. FORGIVEN 🤔

Aryan: The guilt killed me from within....

He was really guilty by now but I don't know what to do, it was so much for me to process, I wish Sidharth to be here with me, to hold me when I break but I know it's not possible, a week is still there for him to return.
I wanted to stop Aryan from saying further but no words escaped my mouth, all I could do was to process the information and realise that there were so many people who were against us but I always thought KRISH to make a mountain out of a molehill. Guess I was so wrong.

Aryan: I know I don't deserve it Shehnaaz but please forgive me, I am really sorry.

There was something behind his eyes which I didn't noticed Before but I have to move on from my past and for that I know I need to forgive him, but I don't have that in myself to forget each and everyone so easily specially when I know they did everything they could to snatch my only happiness, I'm not Sidharth that I could forgive everyone so easily, I can definitely try to forget my past but maybe I lack to forgive him.

Sana: I don't know Aryan, you were actually a very close friend of mine but guess what I think it was just from my side, you never took me as one.

Aryan: Nhi Aisa nhi hai Shehnaaz.

Sana: Toh kaisa hai Aryan? You tried every fucking way to separate me from my friends, from the only one person I loved and you know what I lost my 6 years in just this guilt that I lacked somewhere, my love wasn't enough to keep Sidharth with me, for the whole six years I have cursed my destiny ab tumhare ek sorry se do you think those lost 6 years could come back? Nhi na.....

I said in a calm tone, I was breaking and it was suffocating, like someone was actually holding me, caging me but I wanted to be free, from all those past that can still give me nightmares, I wanted to forgive him so that the stone which was on my heart could be went off but my heart wasn't ready to forgive him, even after his guilty eyes, I can't build it in myself to let it go

Aryan: Shehnaaz listen...
Sana: I don't think something is left for me to listen Aryan, I don't think I have the power to forgive you, Sidharth nhi hoon na, he has actually asked me many time to get over the past but guess what I can't become him kyunki agar ban gayi toh tum ya koi aur mujhe phir todne ki koshish karega and I'm not that strong to let it go always, rahi baat Kiran ki toh ask her to move on, Sidharth uska nhi hai, actually he is not a thing jisko paane ke liye she can do anything,...

Aryan: I understand Shehnaaz but please trust me I'm really sorry, really, very sorry because Shayad pyaar aur infatuation kitna alag hota hai ab jaake samjha hoon, ab samajh aaya hai that what I felt towards you was never love, in fact bachpana tha, tumhe paane ki zidd but shayad main bhool gaya tha, pyaar main kisiko pana ya haasil karna nhi, unki khushi main jeena hota hai...

Sana: Joh Sidharth ne kiya, ek aisa dosh usne apne upar liya tha na Aryan, ki voh tut gaya tha, apne Maa Baba se itne saalon baat ki thi usne par sirf tum dono logo ki vajah se he lost every damn thing. Sidharth ne tumhe shayad maaf karne ke liye maaf kiya hai, but jis din voh dil se maaf karega na uss din shaayad I could even try, but dont except me to move on so easily.

I left him there but only I knew how was I standing strong, my past was the only weakest point of my life, it could make me emotional as well get that side of me which could cause destruction.

Rachit: Shehnaaz...
Sana: Please give me some time Rachit..
Rachit: Tu theek hai
Sana: Haan But please abhi baat nhi kar sakti, I have mailed you the papers just check them.
Rachit: Sun na baba...
Sana: Baad main.

And with this I went home to cry my heart out, I was feeling light but I'm sure I might be looking like a raccoon with swollen eyes, messy hairs. I knew I was crying but why was unknown, maybe sometimes it is the only way to let loose.
All I wished was to stay alone but deep down I knew I need Sidharth right now.